


Juvenile Adolescence

by shurb



Series: Tales of a Bitter Man [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst, Catatonia, Child Abduction, Child Neglect, Child!Richard, Childhood Trauma, Depression, Don't know if this is the proper tag, Elijah Kamski & Gavin Reed are Siblings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gavin is trying to be best dad, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Major Character Injury, Misunderstandings, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Parenthood, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Single Parents, so tell me if it isn't please
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:34:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 35,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26565910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shurb/pseuds/shurb
Summary: After a car accident, Richard has no other option than to have his memories transferred to a prototype model.The consequences are unpredictable.Gavin is forced into the position of a substitute single parent. He knows it won't be easy, especially with the way he had grown up.He hopes to not become the very thing he hates the most while balancing his stressful work- and private life.
Relationships: Connor & Gavin Reed, Connor & Upgraded Connor | RK900, Connor/Gavin Reed, Upgraded Connor | RK900 & Gavin Reed
Series: Tales of a Bitter Man [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1932106
Comments: 31
Kudos: 69





	1. So, what you're saying is: I have to be a responsible parent now.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard is given a new body after his own one is failing him.  
> Gavin does not know how to handle this situation.

Gavin was sitting slumped over in the armchair in the pool room.  
Blue and red blood adorned his hoodie, jacket and jeans. It was fucking everywhere. The detective was aware of the fact that the thirium would evaporate soon enough, but it didn't prevent him from feeling the slightly oily substance on his shaking fingers. It was still there.

They had just driven from his brother's home to get back to the city, when a truck glided towards them at a high speed. There was no way to avoid it, as it was sliding across the entire width of the road. Out of reflex, he had turned and turned the steering wheel, trying to get them out of the giant vehicle's path. He, the egoistical idiot had turned the car so he had been protected to some degree, and as the truck collided with them, Nines had taken most of the hit.

Gavin leaned over, fingers gripping at his sweaty hair and pulling hard in a desperate attempt to alleviate the pain of guilt that had spread through his entire body.  
"I'm very sorry about what happened, man."  
He looked up at the truck driver, sparing him nothing more than a short glance only to continue ignoring him. Chloe had said that she would call the ambulance for them, and tell them about what happened on the road. She had also decided that it would be a great idea to bring the asshole who lost control of his truck with them.

Fucking humans. Always doing mistakes.

One of the Chloe models was helping the stranger to get cleaned up from the blood, and bandage the wounds that needed attention.  
Gavin was nearly saddened that the other was looking less injured than himself, how much one could claim that to be true with the driver bleeding from his head.  
Once again, one of the ST200 models tried to apply disinfectant to the cuts on his face, but he waved her away and leaned back to avoid the stinging substance. He didn't care whether he was hurt or not. He only wanted Nines to be alright.

"How is he? He's not... y'know, is he?" he mumbled, unable to meet her eyes that probably were looking at him with pity. He couldn't ask the heavy question as intended, but she knew what he was trying to say.  
The android woman kneeled down in front of him, her arm settling on his shoulder. Gavin looked at her.  
"Mr. Kamski is an ingenious man. If anyone is able to save Richard, then it's him."  
She wasn't wrong about his brother being a genius. There couldn't possibly be two in the family, and he wasn't one.

Gavin sighed, rubbing his face with his hand only to flinch when touching the wounds.  
The girl was obviously fed up with his childish behaviour of not wanting his injuries to be treated, and started to ignore his leaning back, just wiping the blood away that she could reach. The man was getting too tired to defend himself anymore. The adrenaline was fading more and more, and it left him with the wish to sleep. Sleep until he finally got the message that would either be good, or completely bad. The disinfectant burnt on his open skin.

The doorbell rang, and shortly after paramedics entered the room.  
The truck driver had a laceration on his head, and due to hints of a concussion, they helped him to the ambulance outside.  
These assholes were also trying to get him out of here, but there was no way in hell he would leave. He trashed in their hold, screaming that he was going to _stay here_. He won't leave Nines alone.

"Sir, please calm down. It is in your best interest to come with us to the hospital. You're h-"  
"Shut up! I don't care what I am, or what you want. I'll stay here."  
They wanted to protest, maybe even thought about manhandling him into the car waiting outside, but one of the Chloe's sided with him: "Sir, it's okay. Make sure that the other human is going to be okay."

They didn't look satisfied, but they still left. Fucking finally.

Gavin focused his attention back to the blood on his hands. Some of the blue had disappeared already. But the images stayed vividly in his head.  
He wanted to cry, but no tears escaped. Maybe his body was saving them for when Eli walked out of his weird lab to tell him that he was _gone_.

The ST200 once more tended to his wounds, and he let her.  
Another woman brought him a cup of tea, and he held it. The liquid inside trembled along with his own small bodily tremors. The warmth was welcomed. He was freezing.

"Mr. Reed, please lift your shirt a little." He hadn't fully heard the words, but still did as asked. Maybe his inability to process the words spoken to him made him oblige. Who knew? Who cared?  
There were blue and black bruises on the right side of his ribs. The bones weren't broken, he would have felt that. They were just sprained or something equally menial so that Gavin couldn't bother to feel really pained.  
The girl seemed to think the same, but still applied some cream and bandaged it up for who knew what damn reason. Just let him feel the bit of pain; he deserved it after having ruined everything once more.

His face, hands and chest now covered in bandages and bandaids made him look like a surrealistic piece of patchwork art.

Gavin closed his eyes, exhaustion taking over his brain.

Gentle hands pried him from his troubled sleep though. He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but the sun was showing just barely behind the horizon and giving the sky a pink hue, meaning it had been hours. Hours without news meant that Elijah had fought long to do whatever he could to help Nines. Which then meant that Nines wasn't dead yet.  
Which was good.

Gavin opened his eyes, expecting Chloe to stand before him, but there was no one there. Had he only imagined someone waking him up?  
Then he spotted the boy in front of him as he looked down. The detective was suspicious as to why a six year old boy was here at a place like his brother's home. He had short brown hair, and blue eyes and somehow looked eerily familiar. Did Eli have a kid? Damn, he really wasn't keeping up with family business. It was a little odd to see a child wearing a suit, but that would only strengthen the argument of this boy actually being his brother's son. Elijah was classy like that.

"Uh, hey. What are you doing here, champ?" He asked, finding the stare from the other to make him very uncomfortable. He wasn't good with kids, and everyone could see how awkward he was about just being around them.  
The boy didn't answer, but instead grasped at Gavin's pant leg to heave himself up on his lap. Gavin did not like this, at all. The man was not going to push the kid off of him, but he really didn't want to have some stranger's child just chilling on his lap either.  
"Don't you want to go back to your parents? Where are they?" he tried again, but he was only getting the silent treatment. Was he mute?

"I fear that an android doesn't have parents per se, lil' bro."  
Gavin whipped his head around to where the voice was coming from. Chloe and Elijah were standing behind him, both looking tired, but happy.

Wait. Wait! Wait, wait, wait wait wait...

"Where is Nines?"  
The boy on his legs wrapped his thin arms around him, head leaning heavily against his ribs - first of all: Ouch.  
He didn't feel much better when instead of getting a straight answer, Eli just chuckled.  
"Eli, I swear to god, where is he? And what is this kid doing here? What do you mean androids cannot have pa- Oh.." Gavin stopped talking for a moment, and looked down at the kid.

No way.. _that's_ Nines. The _child_?!  
"What the phck? I thought you said you have a project you've been working on!" Gavin got up, setting his partner down on the armchair, and walked over to his brother with an angry expression on his face.  
"This is it, Gav. That's the only android model that had been available. I didn't have a choice but to transfer his memory into this model. His memory drives were damaged and reusing them would have probably caused them to break, which-"  
"In English, please."  
"Richard would be dead now if I hadn't transferred him into this YK600. His original body was too damaged, and core processors.." Gavin gave him an angry side glance, crossing his arms in front of his chest as his big brother once more started to speak in a jargon he did not understand. "My apologies. See it as.. his brain. His head had sustained too much damage from direct impact, and if I would have just reused the same 'brain', then his memories could have been completely destroyed, and lost. Irreversible amnesia."  
Damn.

"So.. I..," Gavin looked over at Richard again. His blue eyes shone with some sort of vitality he hadn't seen in his original one's before. And still, he could just barely recognise him in the way he was leaning against the backrest of the chair, and the way he was looking at him; trust and respect. How calmly and patiently he just waited, unlike any human child could.  
"What am I going to do now, Eli? I can't take care of a kid- damnit, he was my boyfriend just a few hours ago." This was so fucking weird.  
"Don't worry. I'll get to work on rebuilding his body, Gavin. Until then," he set his hand on top of Nines' hair and mussed it up a little with the boy trying to lean away and fix the style back into something more presentable. It was awfully cute to watch.  
"Until then you'll just have to take care of him. Don't worry, it can be a pleasant experience for the both of you. I'm sure."  
"... says the one with an android waifu. Sorry, Chloe."  
The blonde chuckled, seemingly unfazed by the insult that was really just directed at Eli.  
"Yes, yes. Do make fun of me after I just did you a great deed."

Nines jumped off the chair clumsily, stumbling over his own two little feet and landing on the tiled floor on all fourths. He didn't let out a sound, but he looked distressed.  
Gavin was at a loss of what to do. He had never been a good son, so how was he supposed to be a good father? Should he comfort Nines, or would he be insulted? What if he started crying when seeing his ugly mug?  
Chloe reacted much better - she reacted at all -, and knelt down to pick the boy up, resting his weight on her hip. "Aww, are you alright, Richard? You didn't hurt yourself, did you?" She gently rubbed over the palm of his tiny hand.  
Seeing how awkward the whole situation was for the detective, the ST200 decided to give the two brothers a litte bit of space while they discussed the rest of what was going to happen now.

While being carried away, Nines reached out towards him, face scrunched up in an expression Gavin was unable to read, and he looked away quickly out of reflex.

"One got into the New-Dad-Panic real quick." The other laughed.  
Gavin was not amused. "Not funny. Didn't laugh."  
"Oh, c'mon, Gav. It's going to be fine. I'll just need about a week to restore his core processors, then maybe another two to-"  
"Woah! Woah, woah, woah.. woah. That is _way_ too much time. I have work to do, and now that my partner is stuck in a child's body, I will have even more to do! How am I supposed to take care of him? I don't even know how to take care of a human kid, let alone of an android!" he protested while gesturing with his arms near violently.

He wasn't ready to play substitute father, he wasn't even ready to take care of himself. Sure he was doing much better. But that was only due to Nines' reassuring presence. And now.. he had to be the comforting presence for him - it would only be fair of him to help Nines. His partner was probably not happy about being trapped in a tiny body like this, either.

A few seconds passed in silence, with Gavin walking around the room nervously.

Elijah was first to speak up again: "I know this has been a rude awakening for you." Real shit. "You are surprised," realer shit, "and the accident yesterday must have left you exhausted. Sit down and I'll tell you about the things you have to do. Don't worry, I'll send you a manual via email. It's not that complicated, and you'll do fine. You're a good and smart man, under all this.. Gaviness."  
"Wow," that made him chuckle, "thanks, dick."  
"You're welcome, jerk."

Nines didn't understand what was going on. One moment he had been in the car with Gavin, waiting for Chloe to pick them up while watching the numbers get smaller on his HUD for his imminent shutdown, and now he was in Elijah Kamski's house in a body that wasn't his. It was small, clumsy and difficult to control.  
He had nearly cried when falling to the floor in the pool area. He hadn't even gotten hurt, but there was still this unpleasant sensation in his hands as they collided with the hard floor that made him want to tear up and cry out for Gavin.

But the worst part until now was: He felt unwanted. Gavin hadn't looked cold, but he was obviously displeased to see him. It made him incredibly sad. Had he done something wrong?

Chloe and him were spending some time together on the bed, playing a weird game on a tablet. There were cards displayed on the screen, all turned so he couldn't see the images of dogs, cats and flowers that had been shown for a few moments prior. They had to find them in pairs.  
His old body would have been able to remember which cards he had flipped over before and what was hidden underneath, but for some reason he couldn't recall it as easily, and he tended to pick those only near the one he had wanted to turn around. It was frustrating.  
The game wasn't fun at all, even if it had managed to distract him for a while. He wanted to see Gavin though. He wanted to go home...

Tears welled up in his eyes, and this time he was unable to hold them back. He sobbed, shocked at how high his voice sounded in this quiet room.  
Everything was so tall and big now, and he was so small. He didn't like it. And without Gavin, he felt so alone. Why didn't he want to be around him?

Chloe wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer to her warm body. But he didn't want her to hold him! He wanted Gavin to hold him like that!  
He only cried harder and struggled to get out of her embrace. The unpleasant sensations of artificial snot running out of his nose wasn't making him feel better about being stuck in this weak body either. He barely managed to even move Chloe away with his short arms.

"What is it, Richard? Are you hungry?"  
He shook his head. He hadn't said a word since being reactivated, nor did he feel the need to embarrass himself further by hearing his own shrill voice which he undeniably had now.  
A hand came into his view, its chassis displayed.  
"Maybe you'd like to communicate in a different way? Don't worry, I won't tell anyone about what you're going to show me." He looked up at her. She was smiling. Nines was unsure. Could he even interface properly right now?

Nines didnt't want to bother Chloe, but he also felt the urge to talk about what he was feeling.  
So he hesitantly placed his hand on hers, and their interface began.

He felt her calming presence, and comforting thoughts. He heard her explanations to questions he must have been posing and also sending through their connection.  
It was nice to know that Gavin still liked him as she claimed, and that he had just been surprised to see him. Still, he worried that he might become too much to handle for him. Gavin rarely talked about children, if at all.

The tears finally stopped after a few more moments just being connected to another being, and they let go.  
"I know this must be stressful for you, but don't worry. You'll have much fun in this body, Richard. Humans value their childhood greatly and I don't see why you shouldn't make the best of it."  
Yes. She was right that many humans appreciated that time the most. Gavin had told him about a few things; like his grandparents whom he loved. But there was also much bad things that had happened.

Before Nines could continue his worrying thoughts, the door to the bedroom opened and Gavin stepped in.  
He felt something warm bloom in his chest and he stood up on the soft mattress. He was happy to see him.  
"Hey, buddy, you okay? Wanna go home now?" His friend wrapped his arms around him when Nines opened his own for an embrace. He didn't want to let go again.  
"I guess that means yes?"

Gavin turned to Mr. Kamski. "Thanks again, Eli. And sorry for earlier. I was really just a little taken aback."  
"Oh, it's fine, brother. I know you tend to let your mouth run before you think." Nines didn't like him talking about Gavin like that. But the man just rolled his eyes.  
"Enough with the compliments already. My ego can't take it. Anyway, I'll go now."

Chloe brought them to the door and before they stepped out into the cold, she handed Gavin a bag. Nines wondered what was in there.  
Their goodbyes were said and they walked to the waiting taxi. Nines waved at Chloe and the android waved back.

Some time had passed already. At least it felt like that to the child. He didn't actually have the option of a clock on his HUD - it was eerily empty, in fact.  
It was getting a little boring to just sit here, even if Gavin was holding him protectively on his lap.  
Despite the little warmth he received, he felt like he was freezing. It was in the middle of winter.  
Before he could prevent it, his body shivered, arms wrapping around himself.

"Oh shit, are you cold?" Gavin set him in the seat beside him and took off his leather jacket, helping his short arms to go through the sleeves and then zipping it up. "Eli told me you can feel the cold now. Quite a new experience, isn't it?"  
Nines nodded. His jacket was warm and he felt much better already.

"The day hasn't even started yet.. I got a day off today, so how about we go look for some clothes for you? I'm sure you don't want to constantly wear this suit."  
Nines didn't object. He wouldn't mind going shopping with Gavin. They would spend time together.

* * *

"Oh. My. God! Gavin!"  
Gavin and Nines had spent the morning making a short list of things they might need to buy for him, including groceries. Nines wasn't sure about human food and drink. He did know that his stomach was feeling awfully empty, and it had started to make him feel a little sluggish. He hadn't told Gavin though.  
Right now they were in the mall. They had just left a clothing store, when someone yelled his friend's name.

They turned to look, Nines not letting go of Gavin's hand. He actually held onto it tighter.  
It was Tina.  
"I didn't know you have a kid! Aw, look at him!" she knelt down before him. He felt oddly intimidated by her height and loud voice, and Nines quickly hid behind the man's legs, holding onto the fabric of his jeans. "He's rather shy- what happened to your face?" His coworker got up again and inspected Gavin's face.  
"First of all: He's not my son. You of all people should know that I won't ever adopt anyone, let alone impregnate someone. Secondly: Thanks." Once more he expressed his dislike for children. The android didn't understand why he felt so affected by these statements. He wasn't a kid. He was an investigator, adult android model. And still...  
"Sorry, sorry. It's just the bandaids and bruises. Did you get into a fight with Nines? Where is he anyway?"  
"What? Nines wouldn't do this to me. No.. he is.. at home right now. Busy with cleaning." Was Gavin ashamed to tell her that he was a kid now? Not that Nines wanted him to tell Tina that he was currently in a compromised position.  
"Oh, okay. Well, and who are you then?" She smiled down at him. He really didn't want all the attention on him. Nines pulled the zipper of his newly-bought winter jacket up fully; it was one where you could close the jacket up to the hoodie, leaving his face hidden from view.  
"Aww, he's so adorable."  
"He's my brother's son. I'll be taking care of him for a bit. Now tell me, what brings you here today?" Good, Gavin was switching topics. Nines was just fine clinging onto the man's pant legs completely blind. The noises around him - people talking and laughing, footsteps, the occasional dings and clatters of money being dropped - were too much. His visual processors now not having to scan anything around him was a welcomed rest. But curiosity got the better of him, and he opened the zipper a little again to watch them.

"The usual chore: Groceries. You know how it is. But tell me: If you're gonna have him over at your place, how will you have time for work? Do you have anyone to watch over him? Oh, do you have some toys for him already?" She appeared so excited. But Nines couldn't be sure of her true emotions. His facial scanners won't work - he doubted he still possessed them.  
"I.. I don't know, okay?" Gavin rubbed his face. He looked tired. "I will find some solution to do both work and take care of him. And no, I haven't bought any toys. I doubt he even wants any."  
Tina put her hands on her hips. "Gav, every kid likes toys! Jesus, did your brother willingly agree for you to take care of him?" The detective looked a little taken aback by that question. It was quiet for a second. Nines was very uncomfortable, so he pulled on Gavin's hand to distract him.

"What is it, buddy?" he looked at him, thumb gently rubbing over his knuckles. "You wanna go buy toys with me and aunt Tina?"  
"You want me to come with you?"  
"Well, yes! You know better than me what children want apparently - and I got to admit I have no idea."  
She shook her head with a smile on her face: "Sure, I'll come with you, you big oaf."

They finally got home sometime during the afternoon. Nines had been exhausted from all the walking after they were done getting food, and Gavin had carried him home, while Ms. Chen had aided them in bringing their bags home.

"I hope for his and your health, that you're going to cook, Gavin. I swear if I find out that you fed him takeout, I will throw away that mag I gave to you years ago."  
"Wait, you know I still have it? And of course I'll cook fresh. Do you think I'm an idi.. don't answer that question."  
Nines had climbed onto the couch, jacket and shoes still on. He was too tired to move his heavy limbs and take them off.

Gavin had been nervous all day. He didn't want Tina to know this was Nines he was caring for. He wasn't embarrassed; he just didn't know if Nines was okay about him telling everyone. He knew that if he were in this position, he wouldn't want his partner blabbering about it to his friends either.  
On top of this secret, he was also anxious about his skills as a father. To be honest, he hadn't even nearly considered buying Nines toys. He still saw him as this.. adult. But he probably was wrong about that. It had shown when the kid's eyes had shone upon setting his eyes on a stuffed toy in the store; a plushie in the shape of a white cat with blue buttons as eyes.

"You gonna be alright now? I gotta get the stuff home into the fridge." She lifted the paper bag from the supermarket.  
He nodded. "Yes, we will be just fine. I'll give you a call if I have any questions. Or some emergency." Hopefully that won't happen.  
"Okay, then. Goodbye!" She waved over to Nines who was peacefully laying on the couch. He looked to be asleep already.

He closed the door after her and walked over to his friend.  
"Nines, you feeling okay?" He sat on the soft cushions of the sofa, and helped him sit up so he could remove the jacket.  
His blue eyes just stared into his own grey ones. He opened his mouth, and Gavin waited with anticipation for him to talk so he could finally understand what he wanted.

He yawned.

"Oh, someone's tired." The jacket and shoes were set aside for now. "How about you take a nap while I prepare lunch?"  
Nines reached his arms out for him, eyes barely able to stay open. Cute. Gavin lifted him up and brought him to the bedroom.  
"You wanna put on your new PJ's?" It was hard to communicate with children. Nines was even more complicated when it came to that with his refusal to speak.  
Gavin just brought them and put them on for him.  
"You made a good choice with those pyjamas. I'm almost jealous I can't have such adorable one's." They had little robots on them. Kind of cliché if anyone were to ask him, but hey.  
Nines smiled at his joke.

"Alright, now take that nap. I'll wake you once lunch is ready." He was about to leave the bedroom, when a little someone clung to his shirt sleeve. "Hm? What is it?"  
He pointed at the bags standing next to the closet.  
Gavin searched through them until he found the item that Nines was probably asking for: His new stuffed toy.  
"Here," he handed it over, tucked him in and left the room, closing the door behind him.

This was going to be a really weird experience.  
All day, worries had plagued his mind.

 _He couldn't be a father.  
_ _He couldn't take care of_ _himself. How was he to care for a child? An android no less.  
_ _How could he do both his job, and play substitute father for_ _Nines?_

_How could he give anything involving love and appreciation that children required, when he himself had rarely ever experienced those?_

Gavin knew he would fuck up. He just felt it in his bones.  
Tina had been right earlier... every kid liked toys. And he was the only fool who didn't.

He leaned against the kitchen counter with his elbows, face hidden behind his hands.

This was going to be an absolute disaster.


	2. Being a parent is hard work.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One shouldn't underestimate how much responsibility a child can bring, nor should anyone blame a parent for not doing enough.  
> Gavin does his best the way he knows to. He can't help but feel like it still isn't enough.
> 
> First day at the DPD went better as expected.  
> One small success, more disappointments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He a good dad.  
> He doing the best he can.  
> He learn.  
> He Gavin.

Gavin knew he was a 37 year old man. He knew he was not ready for parenthood of any sorts. Especially not for that of the single kind.  
What he didnt know was everything else.

Nines' current emotional wellbeing.  
His own emotional wellbeing.  
How he was going to balance work and private manners.  
And how to talk to kids.

These were the main variables at the moment. Shit was, he had never been a genius in maths like his brother - so there was no way he would figure all this out himself.

The urge to just sit and laze around was strong, but he now had to cook, clean and wash and whatnot! And he couldn't really leave Nines alone for that; they would need to get groceries together. Same went for the precinct.

Taking him with him wouldn't be a very good idea, but neither would be leaving Nines unsupervised. No matter what he chose to do, Tina would kill him. Because leaving a child alone for hours on end was probably not wise, and neither was letting a kid spend time around a place like a police station where suspects and criminals hung around at times. No matter if they were locked up or being watched; there were just too many risks. So what was he supposed to do?

Gavin turned on the CD player and lowered the volume of the music. A bit of background noise to distract him while he cut vegetables.

The meal was prepared after around 45 minutes. He was a little slower when it came to cooking - didn't want to set anything on fire, and Nines usually had been there to help. Right now that wasn't really possible.  
Gavin walked to the bedroom to wake Nines up, but the boy was already awake, just laying there under the covers playing with the stuffed animal.  
"Hey, buddy. Late lunch is ready." Blue eyes fell on him, only to focus back on the plushie. Wasn't he hungry?  
The man sat on the edge of the bed. Should he just.. wait? Or was he supposed to order him to go eat now? So many questions, so little answers.

"C'mon, Nines. You can play later," he said, taking the toy from him. There was a surprisingly strong resistance, and when the boy's facial expression turned to distress, Gavin quickly let go again. "..Alright then."  
He opted for carrying him to the living room instead. He set him down on the pillow that he had placed on the floor before the coffee table and brought over their two plates, as well as a packet of thirium that Chloe had given to them before leaving his brother's house.

Nines eyed the food suspiciously, and Gavin chuckled: "I swear I put all my love in it. It shouldn't taste that bad."  
He received another silent stare before they finally began to eat.

The dinner - it was late enough to call it that - was passed in silence and Gavin opted for turning on the TV to have some noise around.  
Thinking back to it, he remembered having been rather quiet as a kid as well. Especially during meals, because he didn't ever want to say anything wrong while his father was around; and that old fart and him always ate together.

Nines was a little unsure about eating human food. He did feel an odd craving to gulp it all down. He felt so hungry his stomach had started hurting.  
The cut and cooked carrots and mashed potatoes weren't that bad to be honest, but he craved something with a little more kick.  
Gavin and him had bought some chocolate, and somehow the thought of candy didn't want to leave his mind. It was irritating.

"You already finished, buddy?" He turned his head to look at Gavin. He had been distracted by the cartoon playing on TV. He nodded, hugging Penelope, the cat plushie, tighter to his body. He wanted to be held like he was holding her, but he didn't want to bother his friend. He looked tired. Let alone last time he had tried to make physical contact, the man had looked more than just awkward.

"Alright then. Once you finish your thirium, you can have a bit of chocolate. How's that sound?" Gavin brought their plates to the kitchen, and Nines could hear the water from the sink running. The boy wanted to reply that he would really like some chocolate, please. But he couldn't bring himself to use his voice.  
Nines hadn't taken the nap as Gavin had instructed. He had slept a little, but woken up before he had reentered the room and just entertained himself with Penelope until dinner was ready. Had he been bad?

The boy got up from the pillow, picking it up and setting it back orderly on the couch, before joining Gavin in the kitchen.  
It was all just too tall, or was he merely too small? It was making him uncomfortable.  
He grabbed the towel to help Gavin with the dishes he was washing.  
"Did you finish your thirium already?" he asked instead. Nines looked away guiltily. "If you wanna help, doing so would be greatly appreciated, Nines." He wasn't feeling hungry anymore. He felt full enough.  
"If you want I can wait with the dishes if you really wanna help so much."  
That wasn't the problem. He just didn't want to finish his drink.

Gavin sighed. A sign of disappointment? Was he angry with him? Nines quickly walked back to the living room and drank what little was left of the thirium.  
Nines didn't want him to be angry.

Gavin had let Nines watch some TV, and after washing all the dishes handed the boy a piece of chocolate.  
That was how the early evening was spent before he tucked the android back into bed.  
He himself chose to sleep on the couch. Gavin wanted Nines to have some privacy, and it was kinda weird to imagine laying in the same bed as a child. He wasn't ready for that yet.

Plans for a restful night were interrupted sometime late at night, when he heard crying from his room.  
At first the detective had thought he was dreaming the sounds in his own fucked up mind, but the more he roused from deep sleep, the less that theory proved to be true.

"Shit," he huffed and sprinted to the bedroom, turning on the light. It blinded him for a few moments.  
"Nines, what is it? Did you have a bad dream?" he walked over to him, sitting on the side of the mattress. The boy nodded through all the heavy bawling he did, tears streaming down his face. He was clutching the cat to his chest.  
"Hey, champ, it's oka-" Gavin had leaned over a little, hand propped onto the mattress, when he felt something wet... Nines had wet the bed.

That could explain the incessant waterfall of tears.  
"It's okay, Nines. Don't worry, I'm not angry with you. It was just an accident." He set his hand on top of the boy's head. His hair was unkempt from sleep.  
He just wouldn't stop crying. What was he supposed to do, damnit?! Did children have some sort of on-off button for crying? The sounds weren't unbearable, but.. it made Gavin uncomfortable for some reason. In a different way than another child whining, which then just annoyed him.  
"Nines," he tried again, and this time the boy at least looked up at him, "It is fine. Trust me. We will just throw the covers into the washing machine, get you cleaned up and then go sleep on the couch. Sound like an idea?"  
The boy sniffed, then climbed off the bed.

While Gavin pulled off the duvet covers he explained to Nines that he now would have to use the bathroom like any other human being after he had eaten or drank anything.  
The boy did not look very happy about it. Gavin couldn't hold that against him. Not when his first time urinating was in bed. Poor little guy.

The washing machine in the bathroom soon rumbled its usual tune.  
"I think we should get you cleaned up as well, don't you think? C'mere. Just a quick shower. Then you can go back to sleep," Gavin waved him over to the shower.  
Nines walked over, reluctantly so. The detective gently pried the stuffed animal from him, explaining that it would stay there with them and not go anywhere from the toilet seat.

Gavin may have been too tired, otherwise he wouldn't have ever considered aiding Nines while showering. It was just too weird. But he managed, if only to be able to go back to sleep soon.

The lights were turned off once the boy had been clothed in an oversized shirt from Gavin, and the two laid on the sofa.  
Sleep wouldn't come for the man so easily now that there was a weight on his chest. But at least his friend had managed to do so.  
It felt like an hour had passed, when even Gavin let himself close his eyes.

Only to be woken up by his alarm on his phone. The damn thing was just perfectly out of reach for him to have to move the android on top of him.  
He appeared to be awake already. Okay then.

"Good morning, Nines. Did you sleep well?" he asked, not really expecting an answer.

Nines didn't know how he was feeling. He wasn't tired. Maybe a little thirsty and hungry.  
He really just wanted to do something productive though, show that he was still useful, despite his body preventing from achieving anything that his old one could have done.

He had wanted to be the one to wake up Gavin, and not his alarm. And now it was too late for that.

"Someone's still tired, huh? Don't worry. You'll be able to take a nap later. Now we got to get ready for.. uh, work, I guess." Nines knew Gavin had tried to search for a different word. One that wasn't "work". One that had something to do with him, the RK900 trapped in the YK600.  
"You wanna wear your new dungarees?" He was already being carried to the bedroom. He didn't want to go to work. He wanted to stay here with Gavin and play- do something productive. Not play. Children played. But he wasn't a child.

Gavin helped him put on a white long-sleeved shirt, and he had lifted his arms up to aid him with that, but when it came to the dungarees, he wasn't sure. Putting on pants would mean they were going to leave. If Nines refused, maybe Gavin would stay here.  
Nines didn't want Gavin to be angry at him, but he also didn't want to go to the precinct.  
"What is it, buddy?" The man asked, seeing the direct refusal of him not lifting his legs to get into the garment. "You don't wanna wear them?" He turned around to search for something else, and Nines took his opportunity and ran off to the living room, hiding behind the sofa.

"Nines? Please, don't do this. I gotta get to work." He said "I", not "we". The boy didn't like what that choice of words implied. Nor did he like the quickly growing frustration in Gavin's voice. "C'mon, we don't have much time!"  
He heard footsteps coming closer, and there he was, hovering over him. Nines tried to run off again, stall some more time or maybe make his friend reconsider. But no. His plan failed when the man managed to get a hold on his arm. He was holding it a little too tightly; it didn't really hurt, but there was still an odd sensation running through his artifical veins, one that implied danger. Fear of disappointment. Unease.

He was pulled back towards the bedroom, and he unwillingly followed. "I really don't have time for this bullshit, Nines," Gavin huffed as he put the dungarees on him a little harsher than it was comfortable, "I have to make breakfast, shower and get us there in time - cooperation of any sorts would be really appreciated right now."

He was fully clothed now. Gavin grabbed some clothes from the closet and disappeared into the bathroom, leaving him to sit alone on the bed.  
Where was Penelope?  
Nines silently climbed down the bed and looked for his precious little cat. She was under the coffee table, her white fur a little dusty after having been dropped to the floor. He shook it off a little, and held her tightly. Nines was unsure of the nature of his need to cuddle something, but as it made him feel better, he didn't dwell long on it.

Maybe he could help Gavin a little. Obviously the man was set to go to the precinct, and he wanted his friend to at least not be angry at him during the whole day.  
He walked to the kitchen and stared up at the coffee machine. The boy knew that even though his body had been designed to represent the age of a six year old, he must have been slightly shorter than the average. Everything was too high up, too far out of reach. So he compensated the only way he could: Standing on his toes, and pressing the on-button on the machine that was placed almost too far to the back.  
Now to get a cup... that looked like an impossible task. But one he wanted to do anyway. If there was just a chair around, but Gavin's kitchen was small. It merely had a couple chairs behind the counter in the living room, but carrying that thing over here might be a little too difficult.

Nines placed Penelope on the counter across the one he started to climb with all his might. He grabbed onto the edge of the sink with his little hand, and pulled himself up, kneeling so he could open the cupboard containing the item he was searching for.  
He grabbed the cup that he had given to Gavin a few months ago; it was black and had white letters on it saying "coffee". It was something simple, which was the reason his friend had liked it so much. After placing that under the machine he stood up a little higher in order to get the coffee capsule from the shelf over the cups.

Until then there hadn't been any problems. Though as he looked down, his calm demeanour vanished.  
It was too high up. His body went rigid.  
How was he supposed to get down again?  
The floor seemed so far away, and for his mind it was as if he was staring down a never-ending cliff.

He was going to fall, and that thought alone terrified him.  
Nines didn't want to cry. He didn't want to bother Gavin any more than he had already - and still the tears just flowed, despite his desperate attempt to hold them back.  
A sob escaped his throat, and by the time the shower stopped, he was full on bawling.

"Nines! What are you doing up there?!" Gavin sounded angry. Had he done something bad again?  
Arms wrapped around him and then he was being balanced on the man's hip. He held onto Gavin's shirt, not ever wanting to let go again.  
"Damnit, it's... it's okay, buddy. Just don't climb up on the counter - or anywhere high for that matter. You could fall and hurt yourself," Gavin set a comforting hand on his back to solace him, "and I don't want you to get hurt."  
He was still crying a little, sniffing occasionally, but he did feel a lot better just being carried around while Gavin placed the capsule in the slot and made his morning coffee.

"What were you trying to do anyway?" he asked, setting him down on the floor to get some stuff from the fridge.  
Nines kept quiet, just watching the man prepare their breakfast consisting of egg and toast.  
Gavin appeared displeased about his silence, and sighed: "Thought so."

Why Nines was being so difficult today, Gavin didn't know.  
He just knew that it was hard to handle, because he didn't know how to react. Should he have scolded Nines for acting the way he had been, or not? He sure as hell wouldn't take the same measures his father had taken. That was the last thing he wanted to do - it was so far down on his to-do list, that it wasn't even on there in the first place.

Whatever surprises the day held for them, the detective would find out now as he walked into the precinct, Nines in his arms, while he himself still looked like Frankenstein's monster due to the accident mere two days ago.

Oddly enough, people greeted him - or rather his little friend - with smiles, some even cooing at him as he walked by a few colleagues.  
"Aww, look at this little guy!"  
"I didn't know Reed had a son."  
"Wonder what happened to them..."

Once he had placed the bag with things to keep Nines busy during the day at his desk, he walked to Fowler's office.  
The man looked.. surprised to say the least. He obviously hadn't expected Gavin to walk in with a child today - and neither had he himself. But here they were. Such was life.

"Good morning, Reed. What is.. who have you brought with you today?" The man was too aghast to stand up and greet them properly, and Gavin's both hands were occupied anyway.  
Gavin set Nines down on the chair, while he took a seat in the other.  
He nearly jumped out of his skin when hearing the boy say his "first words": "Good morning, Mr. Fowler."  
That was.. painful. To know that his first words weren't even directed at him, but at his boss. Ouch.  
"Well, good morning to you, too, youngster. What is your name?"  
Gavin had to admit that Nines' voice was really cute, all high and small.  
"It's me, Nines."

Fowler looked at the detective with suspicion in his eyes.  
"Long story, Jeffrey. But to make it short: Nines and I got into an.. accident and he had to be put in this body. It might take a couple or more weeks until he gets his own body back," he explained as well as he could to not reveal all too much. There was no need to tell the captain about his famous relative.  
"And you have to take care of him. I get that. But how will you do your work? Don't tell me you planned on bringing him out with you onto the field."  
Gavin shook his head. "Jesus, of course not. That's why I'm here. I need to know how we're going to go about things."  
The other nodded, then let his gaze fall back to the boy.  
"I would have no problem sending you out with Hank and Connor, but while you're gone someone would have to watch him. Letting you do desk work only is not an option; we're already short on detectives."

Not good, nor bad news. The way Jeffery worded it, he didn't sound like he outright denied him work, but obviously there would need to be proper measures taken.  
"How about I do desk work whenever possible, and whenever you need me at a crime scene you watch over him?" Fowler looked uncertain, so Gavin added: "Nines is quiet, and I will always bring some things to keep him occupied. He won't hinder you in any way."  
Moments of silence passed, and Gavin feared to be sent home, but then: "Fine. But I will not be the only one to watch over him. There are private conversations I don't need to have recorded - even if I do not doubt Nines' discretion."  
"Of course. I'll manage."

Nines actually was having a fun enough time. People, his colleagues, were stopping by and talking to him whenever passing Gavin's and his desks. Not that he bothered to respond much. Having said the few words earlier had been too much already.  
No matter the amount of words spoken and nervousness he had felt, in the end he did forget about the time, having fun colouring in pages or cuddling with Penelope while watching Gavin sit at his desk all concentrated.

It was noon soon, and Nines started to feel a little.. lonely. Not that there weren't any people around - though, Mr. Anderson and Connor were not here -, but he craved the sensation of a warm hug. Penelope didn't offer the same affection he showed her after all. Let alone that he was getting a little thirsty again. He noticed he craved thirium more often, though only consumed a little amount.

He climbed off the chair and walked over to Gavin, tugging on his pant leg. It got the man's attention and he looked down.  
"What is it, buddy? You need something?"  
Nines nodded, and raised his hands to signal that he wanted to be picked up. Gavin obliged, groaning quietly as he lifted his tiny body.  
"And what would that be? Are you hungry? Thirsty?" He watched the other lean down and open the bag he had brought and fish out a small packet of thirium. It had a pink label, and Nines wondered why that was.  
It was handed to him once a straw had been punched into the packet.

His eyes widened at the realisation upon tasting it: It was sweet! He was sure it was perceived as strawberry by humans, and his processors activated the lines of code that responded to happiness as the liquid touched the sensors on his synthetic tongue.  
"Ah, someone likes it, don't they? Be careful not to drink it too fast," Gavin ran his fingers through his hair and the boy closed his eyes due to the pleasant sensation, "I don't know if you can get a stomachache, but I'm sure you don't wanna risk it either way."

"Good day, Gavin. Who is.. this boy? I was unaware of your status as a father."  
Gavin turned in his chair to face Connor and Hank, who were both smiling down at him. They were even taller than Gavin, and it was making him uncomfortable to have them tower over his stature like this once more. He turned his face away, hiding it behind Gavin's opened jacket. Could Connor recognise him? It didn't seem like it.  
"Ah, no no no! He's not my son. He's my brother's... long story short: I gotta watch over him for a while," Gavin explained quickly that he was indeed not his son. It had sounded near vehemently. Nines didn't like that.

He was both sad and angry suddenly and he moved around restlessly in an attempt to be let go. Gavin let him, and he skedaddled off to hide under his desk.

Hank huffed, arms coming up to cross in front of his chest. Gavin only gave him a questioning look.  
"What is it, old man?"  
"He obviously isn't feeling well. And you just sit here instead of comforting him."  
Gavin growled: "And how do you know how he is feeling? You don't even know N- him." He didn't like being accused of not knowing how to handle a kid. Not that Anderson was wrong but... it still made him mad.  
Connor's LED cycled yellow for a moment, before turning back blue. His eyes widened a little and he leaned down towards the detective, who - respectfully of his own personal space - leaned away.  
"Gavin, is this Nines hiding under the table?"  
Ah, so it was that obvious. Well, the cat's out of the bag.  
"Yes, but don't go babbling about it throughout the whole precinct. I don't think he would be okay with that."  
"What happened," the lieutenant asked.  
So Gavin gave them the quick run-down, leaving out the scariest part that didn't need to be elaborated.

"Sheesh, you got into a car accident, and are already back at work. I would take at least two days off," the old man grumbled. Gavin sensed the unspoken accusation of not having given Nines enough time to adjust to his current situation.  
And Gavin's blood boiled in his veins and the realisation that he was right. He was doing a shitty job as a father. Not that it was a surprise, but his friend obviously was influenced by his poor judgment of actions.  
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. If you guys got any tips on how to care for children, then tell me, otherwise leave me alone, would you?" Gavin grabbed a small Tupperware with Nines' lunch and set it on the table. He was about to coax the kid from his hiding place and urge him to eat, when he felt yet another tug on his jeans.

Nines looked uncomfortable, holding his stomach with one hand, while the other still held onto him.  
Remembering what had happened the night before, Gavin picked him up and ran to the restroom on auto-pilot.  
He just let his hands do the work instead of his brain - knowing how much would come of that -, and set the boy down to fumble his dungarees open. He lifted him onto the toilet seat and was out of the stall to give him some privacy.  
Gavin was convinced that Elijah had not invented an android able to crap, but the food that Nines had consumed had to be ejected some way. His brother really had outdone himself on building a proper simulation of a kid.

Soft sobs could be heard from the stall.  
Gavin was worried. "What is it, buddy? You okay in there?"  
Silence, except for the continued crying.  
"Nines, is it okay if I come in?" Maybe he needed someone to be there? It was an odd thought, and the detective was unsure of the nature of his question. He just remembered that he had needed his mother to be there until a certain age when he could finally shit in peace. And since this was his first time doing something so.. human, he might need him, too.  
"..Yes, please."

It was good that the restroom was currently empty.  
Gavin stepped back in, turning the lock on the door behind himself.  
"Hey, champ," he kneeled down, resting his hand on his shoulder to steady the other, "it's okay." Streaks of tears ran down his cheeks, and something in Gavin's chest seized painfully.  
"I know this must be a little scary for you, but it's fine. I'm here for you."  
Nines nodded, but he still appeared rather distressed. If he only had a way to calm him down... what did his mother use to do when he struggled? She talked to him. Words of encouragement, or just small talk that distracted him enough.

"You wanna tell me how your day went until now? I saw you kept busy... I'm proud of you handling this all so well, just so you know."  
He received a small smile.  
"It was nice, Gavin. I like colouring."  
"You do? Have you finished any of the pages yet? I'd love to take a look at them if you want me to."  
"Okay." The smile on his face widened.

They were out of the restroom after 15 minutes, and for some reason people were staring at them both. Mainly Gavin for now.  
The detective was not sure as to why, and honestly, he didn't want to know, either. He was just happy to have Nines all calm in his arms again, despite the pain it elicited from his bruised ribs.  
"Gavin," he carried the boy to the break room sofa, "I'm hungry."  
"I'm sure you are. I'll quickly bring your lunch, okay? Just wait here for a moment; I'll be back quickly."

"Gavin, are you gonna be okay? Connor and I could watch over Nines whenever we got a day off." He looked up at Hank, who had offered this just now. Wow, did he think he couldn't handle a single kid?! Did he look so much like a fucking failure to him? And now he also knew that it was his partner he was taking care of. Just peachy.  
He was so taken aback by that proposal, he didn't even know what to say, so he just grabbed the Tupperware and walked back towards the break room.  
He could feel Anderson's gaze follow him.

"Hope you like sandwiches. I didn't know what else to make." He opened it and let Nines decide which one to take of the two; he grabbed the one with salad and cheese.  
Gavin closed it again and sat down beside him. He needed a cigarette, but it would be weird to go outside and smoke next to a kid. Of course it wouldn't have any negative effects like passive smoking on him, but.. it was still not looking good for passerby's. Or himself.  
"Hey, there! What are you doing here?"  
Tina smiled widely at the boy. He shrunk a little more into the seat, sitting closer to Gavin.  
"Tina, could you talk a little quieter, please?"  
The woman understood immediately: "Of course. Sorry."

"Gav, I didn't expect you to be here today. With a kid to take care of and all."  
"I know, I know. I just haven't found another option yet. But N- he is doing okay, trust me. You're having fun hanging out with Uncle Gavin, aren't you, buddy?" He mussed up Nines' hair. It was almost too adorable to handle for the detective, to watch how he nodded excitedly. It almost wrested a grin from him, if he hadn't suppressed it.  
"Alright, that's good to hear."

The two talked for a few minutes. Gavin would need to get back to his terminal soon.  
He had been so invested in the conversation with Tina that he hadn't noticed the other resting his head on his lap and starting to nap.  
"Someone is tired. Kind of weird. He hadn't even run around to be exhausted already. What is his name, by the way. I totally forgot to ask!"  
"His name? Uh, his name is R-Ronald. Ronnie, for short."  
"Eccentric name, just like your brother is like."  
"..Yeah." He didn't want to say much more.

Gavin pinned the coloured-in page to the fridge with a magnet he had found somewhere hidden in his storeroom.  
It was a gift from Nines, and he had been rather touched to be handed the paper shortly before his shift had ended. The boy had given him the one with the motif of a garden. It was simple, of course, but it was obvious how much effort had been put into not drawing out of the lines - and the colours he had chosen weren't irritating his eyes. The present was appreciated. And it made Gavin think that, hey, maybe he wasn't such a bad person.

"Nines, next time I got some time off, how about we go to the park? Or is there any place special you want to go to?"  
Both of them were getting ready for bed; Nines had to go to bed earlier now, and honestly, Gavin wouldn't complain. He felt tired after a whole day of keeping one eye on his terminal and the other on Nines.  
He had probably looked pretty chill, but keeping it real here: He hadn't been as cool as he had wanted to be. Children are curious. They could just magically disappear into thin air if you looked away for one second. Nines was a little different, sure; the little guy was more clingy than anything. But Gavin didn't want to take any chances.

Long story short: He wanted to sleep.

"I'd like to go to the park. Can we go tomorrow?" The small voice made Gavin want to obey his wish, but..  
"I'm sorry, but I got to work tomorrow." The sad expression almost made him reconsider. But he had to continue to earn money. He didn't want to lose his job, because he had decided to go to the local playground for a few hours.  
"Look," Gavin knelt down in front of Nines, who was wearing his freshly washed pajamas once more, "Hank and Connor offered to spend some time with you whenever they're free. Then you can go to the park all day and more often than with me. I'm sure you'd like to finally meet their dog, too."  
Nines kept quiet again. Ah, yes. The silent treatment.

Gavin was too tired for this.  
Instead of waiting for an answer, he accepted the muteness as feedback, and tucked him into bed.  
"Alright, you got all you need?" He asked. He didn't want to be woken up in the middle of the night again.  
"Your plushie?"  
A small nod.  
"Went to the bathroom already?"  
Another nod.  
"Hm.. okay. Goodnight, Nines. I'll leave the door open tonight. Just call if you need anything."

With that the man turned off the lights and laid down on the sofa, keeping back the groan that threatened to escape him.  
His ribs still hurt like glass in ass. He didn't know what that felt like, but he was sure it could be comparable to it.  
They were a little swollen, and carrying Nines around occasionally possibly didn't help much, either.

No matter now, though.

"...Goodnight, Gavin."  
He smiled to himself.


	3. Who needs a fucking warranty? Me? ... You're right.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nines isn't happy being left somewhere unknown to him, while Gavin goes to work.
> 
> And Gavin isn't okay with feeling so relieved to have Nines stay somewhere else for a few hours.
> 
> Well, such is life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven't done much writing in a few days.  
> I've caught a cold or something, and thus have used my free time to invest in getting better.  
> I'm good, so don't worry.
> 
> And wasps keep wanting to fly in my kitchen, interrupting my creative waterfall juices.  
> They won't get anything to eat here though, HA!
> 
> And: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GAVIN!

Nines was sad.  
Of course he liked the prospect of spending time with Connor and Mr. Anderson all day after having politely accompanied Gavin to the precinct the last two days. But them going to the playground in the local park wouldn't change the fact that he was going to miss his friend, who needed to go to work.

"Hey, buddy. What is it? You've been quiet all morning.. or more than usual."  
Nines looked up from his breakfast - bread with jam -, which still laid untouched on its plate.  
Gavin sighed and reverted his attention back to the TV when he didn't answer. He just couldn't say what was going on. His friend had so much to deal with already; it was for the best to spend some time with the others to be out of the detective's way.

A hand came to rest on his head, and he relaxed a little, paying attention back to the screen before him.

"Thanks again, you two. I'm not sure how much longer Fowler would've kept me on desk duty."  
Gavin handed Connor the bag with the things Nines was going to require until he was back in the evening.  
Nines held onto Gavin's jacket tighter.  
"Oh, it's fine, Gavin. We will have much fun together, won't we, Nines?" Connor asked with a soft smile on his face. The boy looked away, hiding his face against the detective's shoulder. Gavin saw he was not happy. But why? Wouldn't Nines be happy about a little time spent with someone else than him? Gavin used to love to spend time with his mother, and away from his father.

Gavin had to hurry to work, or he was going to be late. Late _r_ _,_ actually; he was going to be late already. "So, thirium is in his bag, and also his pens and colouring pages. There is also his plushie in there, so whenever he gets nervous, just give that to him." What else? "Ah, and don't forget to let him take his nap! You will see when he gets tired. And also, he can use the bathroom now. New feature."  
He handed the boy over to Hank who already had his arms held out for him. The lieutenant was probably happy to care for a kid, even if it wasn't his own. Power of illusion, Gavin supposed.

Nines was refusing to let go, though. And started whining when Gavin pulled his hands away from him.  
" **No!** " he screamed, and it hurt Gavin's heart to see his friend's eyes already filling with tears, arms reaching out in an attempt to hold onto him. "I don't wanna! I don't wanna!" He struggled in Hank's grasp.  
"I gotta go, guys," he excused himself quickly, if only to be able to leave before the inevitable crying would start. He couldn't do this today.

With that he ran back to his car, got in, and drove off.

He had been feeling tired ever since... Nines wasn't really Nines anymore. No, that wasn't right. Nines was still himself, just different.  
Whatever the case, Gavin was exhausted mentally, struggling to find out how to treat a child properly.  
It was like a constant dread had planted itself in his brain, making him overthink every decision in fear of doing something wrong.  
Until now he had kept his anxiety under control. He wasn't being mean or getting physical like his father had been with him.  
Despite the facts before him, that Nines appeared to be okay, the worry stayed and kept him up at night, pulled his attention from the screen of his terminal, only to land on the chair across from him. Whenever something managed to drag his thoughts back to the real world, he hastily tried to make up for the time lost and work harder. Especially now that he was one man down.

He missed _his_ Nines.

"Reed, you're late," was Fowlers personal, favourite way of greeting him - or at least anything that wasn't a traditional form to acknowledge someone's presence. And even today, he didn't disappoint.  
"Sorry, Captain. Had a little situation this morning," he said, hoping that Jeffrey would understand what he meant. The man didn't look less pissed - really, it was a resting bitch-face, it never changed - but at least the tension in the room got considerably less.  
"I'm partnering you up with someone else for now. I can't have you running around on your own outside."  
Oh, really now? And who was that going to be?  
Apparently that question was obviously written on his face somewhere, because Fowler answered it for him: "She's a rookie, so it would be nice if you showed her the ropes around here. And what luck you have; there's a place you have to check out, ASAP, Reed. You running late will cause whoever suspicious there was to flee without leaving any traces behind."  
"On it," he said, ignoring his need for a morning coffee at the precinct, and grabbing his jacket. "Where is she?"  
"Waiting outside. Now get going!"

Nines hadn't wanted Gavin to leave. Why had he left him behind?  
The boy knew Gavin wouldn't be gone forever. He was going to be back for him in the evening, right?

From the moment the man had left until now, he was still shedding tears and found himself unable to hold the constant flow back. He was sure the nonstop leaking of his artificial tear ducts was putting a strain on both his processors and thirium level. It must have gotten considerably less.  
But he didn't want to drink or eat anything. He just wanted to go home.

"Hank, I think we should distract him, get him comfortable with his current environment."  
Nines looked over at the two adults standing at the end of the short hallway. They looked concerned, but didn't walk over to him. He was feeling just fine sitting here at the foot of the door, waiting for a knock or bell to sound and signal the arrival of the detective.  
"Connor, he's been here before."  
"I know, but... it's just a hunch of mine, but I believe that with the way his current processors are working, they aren't able to store all his memories. We'll have to talk to Gavin about it, and ask him about who had transferred Nines' memories - whatever they had done, certain recorded videos might be gone."  
"Gone?"  
"Deleted, Hank. He won't ever be able to restore them, unless they had been saved somewhere." Why was he even listening? He didn't understand what they were talking about anyway; he didn't want to understand.  
"I have an idea to calm him. It could either go very well, or really horrible - depending on whether Nines still likes Sumo or not."

What did they mean? Nines couldn't concentrate properly on what they were saying, so he reverted his attention back to the floor.

That's when he heard it; the hasty clicking of nails hitting the floor, and a quiet woof.  
Just as Nines looked up to find out where it was coming from, a giant, furry beast rushed over to him. It was their dog. Sumo, he suspected.  
It was like he had seen him before - or this house. But he couldn't access his memories to check if that was true. Maybe some memories have gotten deleted during the transfer. Like Connor had said. But why? Was he broken?

Before the spiral of worried thoughts could start again, the Saint Bernard had trotted over, his tail wagging excitedly at the new person in his owner's home.  
"Sumo, attack," Hank ordered, and Nines tried to scramble back further, as if the door could give way for him to flee.  
The dog merely rested his warm body on top of his legs, trapping him underneath, and began to lick his face.  
"Ugh," he whined, holding out his hands to stop the animal from dirtying him any further with its saliva.

For some reason, the actions of the dog made Nines laugh, and he started to pet his head which appeared to satisfy Sumo enough to stop licking him.  
"Nines," Connor knelt down in front of him. He felt a lot calmer.  
The boy looked up, not stopping the long strokes against Sumo's fur.  
"How about we sit on the couch? It'll be a lot more comfortable." Before he could even respond, he was being picked up and carried to the sofa, Sumo walking after them.  
He wanted to continue playing with Sumo. He was nice.

"Here, I heard you like this one much," Hank held a thirium packet with a pink label out to him, and Nines gladly took it.  
"Would you like to colour?" Connor sat down next to him. Nines didn't know what he wanted to do, actually. Usually Gavin offered him things to do, and then he did so.  
So he shrugged, reverting his attention back to the dog who had sat his giant head on his lap, awaiting more pets.

He spent some time just giving the animal the love it deserved, being so docile and placid.

The TV had turned on, but Nines didn't know when - he had been completely hyperfocused on the task at hand. But whatever was on wasn't of much interest anyway.

"What do I have to do?"  
"Be quiet, let me do the talking, and stay alert. We don't want anyone jumping us," Gavin replied in an annoyed tone. He didn't want to give the rookie a hard time, but he was tense and she had been pelting him with questions all the way here. Asking how their colleagues were, to which he answered that it was subjective and she would need to find out herself, or what newbies like her did usually.  
He just wanted to go home to his boyfriend; but he wasn't there. Wasn't going to be there for a while.

Gavin's eyes fixed the wooden, run-down door again. He was getting lost in thought easily. Damnit.  
He knocked on the door three times.  
A neighbour apparently had heard suspicious noises coming from this apartment, but hadn't specified except for loud screaming. The man said that he couldn't describe it further, unless he were to disappoint God. Whatever.  
There were footsteps, and a moment later the door opened.

A young woman peeked her head out.  
"Hello, how can I help you?"  
"Good day, ma'am. I'm Gavin Reed from the Detroit Police Department. We were informed of screaming and 'unusual noises' coming from your apartment."  
The door got opened more, and he could take a quick glance at the inside of her living room. There was nothing suspicious yet.  
"Hm? Who.. Oh, was it Mr. Baker?"  
"Yes, why do you ask?"  
The woman's cheeks turned red and she sheepishly scratched the back of her head. "Well... he disapproves of my relationship with my boyfriend. Says that we shouldn't have 'sexual intercourse' until we got married, and even then only to have children."  
Ah, yes. Religion to the extreme, and making sure everyone around you was affected by your opinion. Classic.  
"Alright, would explain the screaming then?" Gavin asked, tilting his head to the side a little.  
"My boyfriend and I... we like to get a little... wild in the bedroom."

Oh.  
Gavin cleared his throat awkwardly.  
"Alright, ma'am. Thank you for your time."  
As if on cue, a man walked to the door in just some pants. "Baby, who is it?" He slung his arms around her.  
"Jooohn, not now!" she giggled and pushed him away gently.  
The man quickly caught on with what was happening, or at least saw their badges and uniforms, because he cut out whatever lovey-dovey shit he was doing.

"Good day to you, ma'am."  
Gavin walked away with that and to the apartment of Mr. Baker one story beneath.

He had just reached the end of the staircase, when he smelled something... off.  
"Detective Reed? Why are you stopping?" His new partner asked. She was probably some sort of wallflower, not a person who stood out much; because he really hadn't paid much mind to her until now. Maybe he just didn't want to acknowledge her presence either.  
"Do you smell this?" He asked quietly.  
The woman shook her head: "I cannot smell like humans, Detective."  
He turned his head to her, an eyebrow lifted in silent question. Was she an android? She was missing the spinning thingy. But then again, she could have chosen to remove it.  
"Are you an android?"  
"Yes, sir."  
"Ah."

Gavin walked to the door where the smell was most apparent. It was still too weak, and he was surprised to have smelt it at all, but it was there.  
It was Mr. Baker's apartment.

He knocked on the stained wood of the door, and waited.  
No sounds could be heard for a few seconds, then a door was opened and closed somewhere inside.  
"Who's there?" a gruff and old voice asked.  
"Detective Gavin Reed. I was sent to check on your neighbours' apartment."  
"Ah, and? What did they say?"  
"Mr. Baker, would you be kind enough to open the da- the door, please?" What an annoying guy he was being already.

The man opened it, reluctantly so. The scent wasn't any stronger, actually a bit weaker. But he was sure he had smelt Red Ice-fumes.

"So, what came of it? Did you tell these scoundrels to stop their blasphemous acts against God's will?" The man's hair was grey and thin, and there had been an obvious attempt to brush it over the bald parts on his scalp.  
Gavin didn't like the guy's attitude towards the couple. He didn't care about other people's religion as long as they didn't force their opinion onto others. "Believe it or not, Mr. Baker, but people are allowed to do live their own life. And do not have to believe in whatever god you put your trust in."  
The man looked displeased about Gavin's blunt answer. He was about to reply something, when he interrupted him: "Please, only call the police if there is actually an emergency or suspicion of something illegal going on. Thank you."

He walked off. He didn't have the nerve to explain to the man that God's word is actually not included in the law; not all of them at least.

Mr. Baker yelled something after him, but he ignored it, knowing that a devout person such as this old man can lash out whenever their religion is questioned, and left the building with his partner probably stalking behind.

"Detective, why did you treat the man like this?"  
Hm, not what he needed to be asked now - or ever - but here his partner was. What was her name anyway? Had Fowler told him already?  
"Listen, rookie, I am not up for this game right now. Just know that this old fart just can't accept other people's choices in life, and that's annoying. Got it?"  
He looked back when stopping at his car. The woman nodded silently, then sat down in the passenger seat.

"Now don't run off somewhere we won't find you, Nines! You can play here, but if you wanna leave, you tell us, okay?" Hank told the boy, who was already paying too much attention to the playground before them, and too little to the Lieutenant.  
Connor would have found it adorable if he didn't see how nervous Richard looked. Usually the RK900-model, turned YK600, was calm and collected, and didn't let himself enjoy small things like going outside. At least that was how Connor felt it was like.  
But now it seemed that the calmness Richard had emulated as an adult was slowly falling apart and tearing at the seams, exposing his true fears and emotions. He wondered if the boy had always felt like this, and only being transferred to this model could show them the truth as he was unable to hide his feelings with how expressive his facial expressions were.

"If you want I can play with you," Connor offered a soft smile. "Maybe you'd like to swing a little?"  
Richard looked up at him, then at Sumo, who was dutifully sitting next to the bench Hank had sat down on. To Connor's dismay, Richard didn't accept his own program's desires and sat down on the bench as well, near Sumo. Of course the fellow android could have problems adjusting to his current bodily needs - but Connor didn't want that to be the case for long. He was sure it wasn't healthy.

Markus and Josh had told him about android's mental health, and how it could affect their stress levels.  
He didn't want Richard to go through anything like the scenarios he had been described by his friends.  
Connor was going to have a talk with Gavin.

"You smelled a hint of it? And now you want a warranty to search the guy's apartment?"  
"Yes."

Fowler massaged his temples. "You understand that this isn't enough, right? It could've come from another place other than the inside of Mr. Baker's flat."  
"I'm pretty sure he has Red Ice somewhere around his apartment, Captain. You know I won't just accuse anyone of possession of illegal drugs!" Gavin tried to make his point, but his boss still looked unconvinced.  
"Damnit, Reed... even if he had it, what then? You think he will confess from where he had gotten it just like that?"  
"I surely would hope for that to happen," he admitted, "and once we find the source, we might take down a group that has potential of growing bigger; y'know, like pulling out weeds before they spread."

Gavin was not the best with analysing and identifying mimic and gestures from other people, and he had spent hours hitting the books that taught people to read expressions like that. And Fowler's face clearly told him he was not agreeing with him.

"I know what you say makes sense, Reed. But I can't just give you a warranty, all because you smelt a _little bit_ of Red Ice. I might come back to you about it once there is more evidence or a new gang founding somewhere here in Detroit. It could be that Mr. Baker had gotten the drugs from somewhere else."

Gavin knew Fowler was right, but so was he.  
He didn't want more crazy-people running around though, not with what had happened last time.  
Nines had gotten kidnapped, because of him. He had gotten hurt, because of him. He had to spend weeks with sleep-deprived paranoia and his pet had been brutally murdered right before him while asleep.  
If there was a new group forming, then he would stop it **before** they could even _think_ about snatching Richard again.

"Alright, Captain." He stood up from the chair and left the small office to go back to his desk.

He worked on papers - boring reports and files - for a few hours, before the craving for a hot coffee overwhelmed him and he walked to the breakroom to get himself a cup.  
Gavin used the time during his "lunch" break to call his brother.

"Hello, Gavin. Nice to hear from you. If you want to inquire some information on my progress, I'll only have some disappointing news." Wow, just what he needed.  
"And what would that news be?"  
"I haven't completed the repairs on Richard's chassis, and there is still more damage inside. I know you said to use the same model, but it would really be easier to just make another on-"  
"No! That's.. it's not the same, is it? He will just be another... mind in another body. Eli, that's weird."  
"I know you are interested in your own unique ethics, but in the end it will be much faster if I were to use a new model and new memory banks. I would just transfer his memories on them."  
"That's exactly the thing that would creep me out, though. Please, Eli, I would really appreciate it more if you were to repair and not replace him."  
The other end on the line was silent for a few seconds.  
"Alright then. There's another problem. One I have forgotten to inform you about." Oh, fuck. What else? "Richard's current body wasn't made to store much memory. Even while uploading all those into his current hard drives-"  
"Language, Elijah."  
He sighed. "Let's just say that he is missing a few memories. He shut down while I uploaded all of them somewhere else just to make sure nothing was lost. And, well... now they might be. I cannot say what exactly is missing, nor do I know how much his current storage capacity can hold. Richard might start automatically deleting the older ones to replace with the new. So I would recommend you coming here every three to four days so I can download everything to save it once he gets transferred back."

Oh, just fucking great. He wasn't just busy with work now. Or the guilt of having almost killed his boyfriend. Or completely occupied with keeping the boy happy.  
Now he had to make the drive back to his brother's place through all the snow and whatnot.

"Okay. Some days have already passed. You think he deleted something already?"  
"I do not know, Gav. The days I told you are a rough estimate. Something like this hadn't ever been done before." Well, what else are you good for then?

Gavin shook his head to get the angry thoughts out of his mind. His brother was doing everything to help him at the moment.

"I'll see you tonight then. I got to get back to work now."  
"Same here. See you, Gavin."  
"Yeah... and.. Eli?" Silence met him, but the detective knew he was still listening. "Thank you."  
"Of course." He could imagine the other smiling at his phone.

Nines had a calm day at the playground. He had politely sat next to Hank, watching the other children play.  
A part of him had wanted to go over there and play with them, but another had wanted him to not act like a child. Because he wasn't one.  
He was an RK900, a model made just for Gavin Reed. He was to watch out for him, and not cause any trouble. But now.. here he was. Doing the exact opposite.  
Nines felt horrible for causing so many new and unwanted problems for his friend. He just wanted to be back in his old body, and do what adults do: Being productive at work, have serious conversations. He didn't want to have to eat, or drink. Or.. use the bathroom. He didn't want to feel so dependant on sleep anymore.

He wanted things to go back to normal.

"Nines, are you feeling well?" Connor asked him for probably the... he asked it so often, Nines had lost count.  
The boy looked away from the TV and to the other android. He didn't know what, or even if, to answer. His predecessor wouldn't get him. They would all think he was just a child, immature and unknowing of what was going on around him. Would their opinions about him ever change again once he was back in his adult body?  
He settled on nodding.

There was a knock on the door, and Sumo barked loudly, already strolling over to the door. But not only Sumo was excited about the - to him - unknown visitor. Nines was happy as well.  
"Gavin!" He couldn't help but yell out, and ran to the door. He stood on his toes to get a proper grip on the handle, and pulled it down.

And there his friend stood. The boy opened his arms and hugged the other once he had knelt down to accommodate his height.  
"Hey there, champ! How are you? Have Hank and Connor treated you well?"  
"Yes!" He was lifted off the ground and never wanted to let go of Gavin's jacket ever again. "We went to the park! And we walked Sumo!"  
"Really? That's great, buddy. You can tell me all about it once we're home, okay?" Gavin proposed, and Nines happily took the offer.

"Thanks, you two. I don't know how I would have gotten through the day without you. Fowler had me visit some old dude's home for a complaint."  
Why couldn't he have managed to get through the day if he had been there? Would he have been a burden? Nines would have helped! He could have proven himself useful.. right?  
"Here's the bag. We'll gladly take care of Nines again next time. Would you like that, too, Nines? I'm sure Sumo would want to take a walk with you again."  
He would? Nines smiled when the dog trotted over at the mention of his name. "Yes, I'd like that, Connor!" He couldn't suppress the giggle.

"Well then, we're off. Nines got to go to bed soon," Gavin shouldered the bag before holding him securely with both arms again, "or he will be all cranky tomorrow."  
"I won't be cranky!" he declared, but that exclamation only earned him a round of chuckles.

"Say goodbye, Nines," Gavin said and waved at their coworkers. And he did as ordered, waving at them with his tiny hand.

Today had been a good day.

But Nines still felt off. Weirdly so. He couldn't explain it, nor could he voice his concerns.  
All that mattered now was that Gavin was there again, with him.


	4. I made a big mistake, I know! I'm sorry...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The check up goes smooth enough.  
> But Gavin is getting less concerned about that, though.
> 
> No, he is scared for different things. Something so horrible, that he has done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just remembered something humorous:  
> Back in 5th grade, I was waiting in a staircase my friends and I used to play at during breaks.  
> I hear their voices, but I wait. Then one I considered a friend starts talking: "I don't like shurb. She's so annoying."  
> I walked up the stairs to show I had heard what she had said, and went down the hallway of shame as none of my other friends had denied it.  
> I forgot about it the next break. I was a dumb kid, unable to read even the most obvious signs and signals people send me.

"Gavin, why are we here? I'm tired," the boy behind him in the car seat yawned as he parked before his brother's house.

The detective was tired as well, but not tired enough to find out what was going on with the other. What memories got erased, he wondered. Did he even remember all the times they talked in private, or how they met?  
He shook his head to get out of his thoughts that had been threatening to envelop his mind all day while he hadn't been busy with work.

"Don't worry, you can sleep." He wasn't sure if he should tell Nines about what Eli was going to do. Would it be unpleasant?

Gavin got out of the car, the cold from the wind immediately forcing a shiver from him. He opened the door in the back and lifted the android from his seat after unbuckling his belt, and carried him to the house. Nines was holding onto him with a firm grip, and he reciprocated by tightening his hold on him as well.  
Chloe was already standing at the door, waiting for them to enter, and Gavin quickly did so.

"Good evening, Richard," she cooed at the boy, who opened his heavy eyes in response. "Aw, someone is tired from a day of activity! Did you have fun today?"   
The woman held onto Nines as he was handed over into her arms.  
"Yes.. went to," another yawn, "the park."  
"Really? That indeed sounds like fun. I'd love to join you some time. We could play catch or hide-and-seek!"  
She led Gavin through some unfamiliar hallways and rooms until they reached one that looked like a laboratory.

By the time the boy was placed on a table with tools set around it, he was asleep.  
"Hello, lil' bro," the inventor greeted him with open arms. Gavin accepted the hug with slight hesitation. He wasn't a touchy-feely person - not for his brother or anyone else other than Nines, really.  
"Stop saying little like that. Makes you sound like a rapper from 20 years ago."  
"Well, it was our time, wasn't it?"  
Yeah. Great times, especially with his father around. _Such_ fucking fun. "I suppose it was. So, what about Richard. How long is this going to take?"  
"Oh, it shouldn't take more than an hour if everything goes well. You can wait upstairs if you'd like. Or take a nap; you look tired."  
He shook his head: "No, no. It's fine. I'm okay."  
"Okay. Just don't interrupt my work. This procedure can be surprisingly delicate."

Gavin spent the time in the lab with the others, sitting on a chair that had been brought in for him.  
He had expected for his mind to calm down, force him to fall into some half-slumber at the least. But his brain was working overtime, bombarding him with thoughts that he wished weren't his, ~~but he knew they were.~~

What if Nines was like other human children and would pick up on his bad habits? His odd behaviour? Maybe he would show similarities of some symptoms of child neglect like he had to suffer. Gavin didn't want that for him. He may not have been cut out for the position of a father, but he at least wanted to try.

 _Who am I fooling? He'll end up hurt by something I say or do anyways.  
_ _I am just like my father, aren't I?_

He knew he had behaved different from other kids. When at a park, he used to only stay near his mother or father, not believing to find any of the activities there enjoyable. Especially with his dad always wanting him to act like an adult - at the age of goddamn seven! And he, the dumbass he had been, had fallen for his abusive behaviour.  
It was his fault back then. But it wouldn't be Nines' fault. He was just a kid now. He couldn't control the detective's decisions.

 _All this went too smooth. I will do something I'll regret soon enough. And then, when Nines is back in his own body, he will leave_ me.

The thoughts hurt his heart, his mind. They hurt his ears from how loud they've become. Like a siren from an ambulance, they had grown more pronounced, stronger. But instead of the ambulance passing by and thus the siren becoming silent over time, the car had parked right before him, waiting for him to jump in. And he stood there motionless.

"Where's the bathroom?" he asked Chloe quietly to not disturb his brother's work.  
"Just out the hallway and up the stairs. The first door on the right," she kindly informed him.  
He left quietly and walked the instructed directions, finding what he was searching for behind the first door he opened.

But Gavin didn't need to use the restroom. He just needed to be alone. Away from the world, if only for a few seconds.

Away from work, his brother, Hank and Connor... away from Nines.

**_There, it is already starting! You hate him. Children are smart - he will see that you despise him! He will leave you at the first chance he sees!_ **

_No! Richard wouldn't do that!_ He sat down on the closed toilet lid, resting his head on his open palms.

 **_Why shouldn't he? He may not even remember all the intimate moments you shared together! Not that there would be much to be remembered anyways. Not with someone like you, who prefers inaction to_ ** _action._

This wasn't true! It couldn't be. Nines wouldn't pretend to like him. He wasn't a person to do such a thing.  
But still... the thoughts were right. Gavin had failed to act as Nines got kidnapped, had failed to respond properly to the truck racing towards them. Richard had gotten hurt over and over again, just because of him.

Gavin's chest tightened, and his throat squeezed shut painfully as the first sob fought to escape him.  
He really didn't want to be like his dad, but how? He felt trapped- he **was** trapped by his upbringing! He couldn't possibly change now after 39 years! Oh god, he was going to be 40 next year!  
The weight of all the problems around him was crushing.

But it wasn't just the problems from outside. What about his mental state? If he was already down in the dumps like this after these few days, then what would happen in the near future? Would he suffer another catatonic episode? Be unable to move or respond? Who would take care of Nines then? The boy would probably start crying, and he would be too indifferent for it.  
No, that couldn't happen! He had to.. he would.. what could he do?  
He couldn't control this shit, or he would never have gone into a state like this at all!

His fingers were getting wet from where he pressed them to his closed eyes, snot running out of his nose. The sensations were just making him more miserable.

He wasn't fit to be a dad. He would never be.

After minutes - or was it an hour by now - of crying, he stood up, washed his face over the sink to hide the fact that he had gotten momentarily emotional.  
He shouldn't be so egoistical. Nines didn't feel much better in his current state, and he was being a drama king and forcing all attention to himself. God, he was an asshole.

The reflection in his mirror showed him as much: A disgusting display of a man, who didn't look the least like a person able to take care of anything. Not a plant, an animal. Of his boyfriend, and now a kid.

He needed a cigarette.

His limbs felt like lead, but he managed to lift his arm to open the bathroom door and walk through the hallways towards the exit. He wasn't sure if he was going the right way, but luckily he stumbled upon an ST200, and she was kind enough to show him where to go. He was sure he used to be better with his orientation, but somehow his brain couldn't remember. It was all just a blur of the same halls, like going in circles.

It was still freezing cold outside, snow covering everything, even his car had a small layer building on top, despite the motor having been warm before. Maybe some time had already passed. Which would mean something bad had occurred, because his brother had claimed for it to take around 60 minutes.  
The fire from his lighter warmed his hand and nose momentarily, before it was gone again, and the cigarette between his lips was burning.  
It felt good to take a deep breathe, knowing the nicotine rush was going to hit near instantly. He hadn't smoked all day.  
Gavin had to lean against the railing of the stairs to keep his balance as he was getting lightheaded.

Ah, there the nicotine was... here to save the day once more.

He grabbed his phone from his jeans and opened the chat with Tina. Cold fingers tapped on the screen, selecting letter after letter to form a sentence Gavin wanted to get out of his system: "I wanna drink."  
But he hesitated. Tina would think he was an idiot. He couldn't just leave Nines alone, nor drop him off, just so he could get shitfaced with her.

Ugh, fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.  
Gavin kicked the railing next to him, cursing out loud when it hurt his foot.  
The weary man sat down on the stairs, not caring if his ass got wet right now, and hunched over.  
Couldn't he leave Nines here with Chloe? She seemed to be happy to have him there-  
Woah! No. He sounded like he didn't want his friend there. Oh god, no.. what this subconscious way of wording meant!

_~~You're just like your old man.~~ You're just like your old man. **You're just like your old man. You're just like your old ma-**_

"Gavin? Elijah is done with the memory transfer," Chloe was poking her head out the door when he turned around.  
"Alright, I'll be there in a couple minutes." He wanted to finish his smoke. But as he looked down, the cigarette was already burned to the filter.

* * *

"Good evening, Gavin. Good evening, Ronald," Connor said to them as the man walked past his desk. The android was smart enough to use the kid's fake name around their coworkers. Unlike Gavon, who caught himself beginning with "N", only to end with a really awkward "Ronnie". He had heard someone whisper that he couldn't even remember the boy's name properly; a critique towards him.  
"Wow, Reed can't even be so mindful as to memorise a single child's name that he had been supervising for two weeks now!"  
Well, no he couldn't remember a false name. But he wasn't going to clarify the situation to any of these buffoons. He didn't owe them shit.

It still hurt a little to hear the rumours spreading about him get louder as the days passed.

_Halfway there. You didn't fuck up yet, Gavin. Just two more weeks and everything will return to normal._

Gavin had brought Nines to his brother a second time, with the same results: Nines had a limited memory storage due to him having experienced so much else before getting transferred - meaning a few events were missing here and there. It pained Gavin to know that his own existence wasn't important enough to remain in his partner's artificial brain. But that was of thinking was stupid; just like his own philosophical train of thought on it. Nines didn't make a conscious decision to just delete memories - and still Gavin couldn't understand this. He didn't **want** to understand it.

Nines had gotten quieter and more closed-off the past couple days, when Gavin's anger and depression - which he suppressed skilfully, might he add - spiked. Gavin had also noticed how his friend attempted to give him a hug during the day when his thoughts got too much. But he just felt too distant to fulfil his wishes of touch. And today he had stopped trying.

_**You're a fuck-up. Accept it. It'll be easier to explain to others how you neglect an innocent kid.** _

Ouch. But it was true. His colleagues were already giving him stronger gazes of hatred and disgust at how he was treating Nines while at work.  
He knew he was acting wrong, but he couldn't help it. He was just... too _tired_ to lift him up onto his lap to hug him.

"Gavin?"   
He turned to face Connor when he called his name again. Had he not answered?  
"Are you alright? You look exhausted. You should go home and rest. Tomorrow Hank and I got a day off again and you can drop Nines off at our place."  
The words didn't register. He just nodded. "Sure. Goodbye, Connor," he mumbled, before turning back to his terminal.

The android didn't say anything else, and walked off with his partner.

"Oh my god, Reed," someone called to him again. It wasn't an all too familiar voice like Fowlers, but it held the same disappointment. "Go home already! Ronald is tired, can't you see?" They sounded angry.  
He lifted his head to see Chris leaning on his desk. The man nodded over to where Nines was sitting, eyes drooping shut despite how much the boy tried to keep them open.  
"Y-yes. Sorry."

_Just like your father..._

He logged off his terminal and shut it off. He collected the colouring pages and pens Nines had used throughout the day. He was frustrated to have to clean this shit up, but refused to give into the urge of merely throwing it all into his bag carelessly.  
He helped Nines put on his jacket and wooly hat, then put on his own.  
"C'mon, N- Ronald. It's time to go home," he hated to wake the boy further, but he couldn't carry him to the car today.  
Nines remained eerily quiet.

So instead, Chris had to talk: "Jesus Christ, Gavin. How hard is it to remember someone's name? You're not the only person in the world that's important, y'know? Get a grip!"  
With that the officer walked off, leaving Gavin with his growing guilt.

They were at home, and suddenly Nines got some surge of energy from nowhere.  
He sat on the couch the moment his shoes, jacket and hat were off, his plushie held tightly to his chest.  
The time on his phone showed it was 7 PM. Why did it feel like it was already 3 in the morning?

"You can watch TV during dinner today." He turned on the TV and handed the remote over to the boy.

He was too tired to cook anything really complicated, so it was simple noodles with pre-made pesto.  
The noodles were in boiling in the pot already when he heard an odd _crack_ from the living room, followed by a quiet _Oops_.

Gavin wouldn't be surprised if Nines had broken something, and he wasn't concerned either, knowing that there was barely anything in his house worth to stay fixed.  
But as he looked behind himself to glance over, his heart stopped. For a moment his blood felt freezing cold in his veins, only to rush with building, scorching anger when he saw just _what_ broke.

His grandpa's CD laid there on the wooden floor, fragmented in two pieces.  
And there next to it sat Nines. Someone.

That someone looked up at him with an apologetic expression, but Gavin wasn't having it.  
" **What the phck?!** " he yelled and stomped over, the boy not moving away. Big mistake on his part. " **You little shit! Why the phck did you break it?!** "  
"I-It was an acc-," he tried to explain himself, but the only thing the detective could hear was the rushing of blood in his ears.

Before he knew what he was doing, he grabbed the boy by his arm, pulled him up roughly to stand and spanked him a few times.  
" **Don't you phcking dare touch my shit again!** "  
The boy was crying, and Gavin felt that whatever he was doing right now wasn't right... but he couldn't stop.  
"I- I- I'm sorry, Gavin!" the other bawled, trying to yank his little arm free, but he was holding onto it too tightly.

_Stop.. stop. He didn't do it on purpose._

One more hit and Gavin let go, screaming at the top of his lungs: " **Go to bed, now!** "  
The boy moved to oblige, picking up his cat plushie, but the man took it from him. "Leave that phcking thing here! And I swear if I hear any sort of noise coming from the bedroom."  
Blue, sad eyes looked up at him in terror. "GO!"  
Quiet steps disappeared to the other room, the door closed just as noiselessly.

With that Gavin was alone, though the anger stayed near him like an unwanted companion that he just couldn't lose.  
He looked down at the plushie, tightened his grip on it. _This fucking thing..._  
Just looking at it annoyed him, and so he threw it, not minding where it landed.  
As his luck would have it, the damn thing pushed the coffee cup Nines had given him months ago off the counter, and he heard it shatter.

He let out an exhausted laugh. Hilarious. How quick karma was to repay him, but took its damn time whenever he had done something nice.  
How funny! Comical!

...why was he crying then?

_I hurt him! I hit him, just like my old man used to._

He couldn't handle the reality of what he had done. There had been so many ways to go about it; the best ones excluding violence of any sort.  
God, what had he done?! He had to apologise. But Nines surely didn't want to see him right now. Or ever again.

Gavin felt tired when coldness seeped into his bones. He sat down on the sofa.  
It was too much. Too many thoughts, too many noises.

He turned off the TV. The tears just wouldn't stop.

 **Stop being so narcissistic! Look what you've done to Richard. He should be the one expecting comfort, not you!  
****Fucking, dirty asshole!  
Best dad, my** **ass!**

He would honestly be doing the world a favour by disappearing. The world didn't need any more abusive parents.  
"I'm sorry, Nines," he whispered, voice shaking from the tremors the sobbing caused. " _I'm so sorry..._ "

The noodle water started to boil over, and Gavin quickly sprinted to the kitchen before everything got dirty and he would not only have to clean up the shards of ceramic.

He prepared a small bowl of noodles with shredded cheese on top, placed it on a tray along with some chocolate and a packet of thirium and carried it to the bedroom. He stood before the door, hesitating on whether to knock or not. Maybe Nines hated him. Oh, what was he thinking? Of course he hated him.

Before tears could start anew after they had just stopped, he forced himself to knock on the door quietly. Then entered.  
The room was completely dark, but he could make out a figure laying on top of the mattress, curled up. The blanket was barely covering the body, and he set the tray on the nightstand to pull it over the sleeping kid, making sure not to touch him. He wouldn't want to feel the person he hated most touching him either; not even the slightest brush.

But he stood there, watching silently.  
"I.." the words got stuck in his throat, and he wished he could choke and suffocate from it. Alas, it didn't. " _I'm sorry, Nines. I know there is nothing I could ever do to make it up to you, but..._ "  
He saw how the image before him blurred, and quickly left the room.

He regretted everything. He regretted it all!

**Good.**

He couldn't do this.

**Never doubted that.**

His limbs felt locked up, and it was difficult to move himself to the couch after turning the light off. But he did it anyway, laying down to sleep even if his body was starving, his mind racing.

Just two more weeks, and Nines would be gone. Forever.


	5. ...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor gets a call from Nines. When hearing how distressed the boy sounds, he knows he has to hurry to Gavin's apartment and see what is going on.  
> What he finds does not spark joy in him.
> 
> All the while Nines cannot help, but feel guilty about the current situation.

Gavin had appeared rather stressed yesterday. Connor was sure that caring for Nines, as well as working his shifts at the station, were putting a great strain on the detective. The man was a perfectionist when it came to things he liked doing - overexertion was inevitable.

So it was no wonder the android was worried when Gavin didn't come in to work; not even late. And Nines was nowhere to be seen either, of course.

"Hank, do you know if Gavin has called in sick today?"  
The old man didn't turn to him, keeping his eyes fixed on the screen of his terminal, but answered: "Nope, no idea. Must still be at home struggling to get Nines ready."  
Connor frowned. What the lieutenant said was a possibility, but he had a bad feeling regardless. He would call it... intuition.  
"I would like to check on him after our shift. I have a bad feeling something happened to them."  
Hank huffed: "I'm sure he's fine. But go and hover over him if you want to do so, Connor. You'll see how much that kindness will do."

Connor was aware of Gavin's insistence on keeping his private matters personal, but Richard was involved as well. And Connor really didn't want anything bad to happen to his android friend.

It wasn't even noon when he received a call from the detective himself. At least that was who Connor was expecting to talk to when answering: "Gavin? Are you alright?"  
Crying could be heard from the other end of the phone, and his stress levels rose drastically.  
"Nines? Is that you? What is it?"  
"G-Gavin is-," the sobs made it near incomprehensible to understand him.  
"It's okay. I will be there as quickly as possible."

The call was ended. Connor stood up from his desk and made his way to Fowler's office.  
"Good morning, Captain."  
"Good morning, Connor. What is it? Coming to tell me as to why Reed isn't here today?" He sounded displeased.  
"I do not know why Detective Reed isn't here now, but I just received a call from Richard. He sounded very distressed. I'd like to go and check what is going on."  
Fowler leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. "And have more of my employees missing where they're needed? No. We are already too few for the cases that we have received."  
"But Captain, it sounded like an emergency. I think something happened to Detective Reed and Richard had to call me while he couldn't do so himself."  
Connor saw in Jeffrey's eyes that the man wanted to let him go, even before his first protests. But there was also the issue with their numbers.  
"I will be back as quickly as possible, sir. And keep you updated on what happened, of course." Connor tried his luck.  
And was rewarded: "Fine. But if Reed is just lazying around when you get there, I want to know, understood?"  
He nodded. "Thank you, sir."

Hank was standing in front of Fowler's office when he exited, arms crossed. "Your light-thingy is yellow. What's going on?"  
"I have just gotten a call by Nines. He said something about Gavin and he was crying. I'm going over to see what exactly is going on."  
"... Alright. Call me if you need help. I doubt Fowler will let me go, too."  
"I will."

Connor heard crying from behind Gavin's apartment door, and he knocked. He hoped everything was okay.  
Tiny footsteps could be heard rushing towards the door, then it was opened.  
"Connor!" the boy hugged his legs tightly. RA9, Nines looked _debilitated_! His appearance resembled just as much as his emotions; messy hair, clothed in the same things as yesterday, and in tears.  
"Nines! Are you alright? Where is Gavin?"

Richard let him go to lead him further into the flat, and the RK800 closed the door behind himself when not assessing any signs of danger. No blood, no signs of a struggle. But there was a broken cup on the kitchen floor - it was a miracle that Nines hadn't cut himself yet. But he would check him for injuries, just in case.  
The living room also didn't look much out of order either. A broken CD laid before the TV stand, while the detective sat on the sofa, just staring straight ahead while Nines continued calling out to him: "Gavin! Gavin, please, say something!" He shook the man's shoulders, but he was barely moved by the motion, literally.

Connor walked over, kneeling before the other.  
"Gavin?" he placed his hand on the man's shoulder. No reaction. He snapped his fingers in front of his face, but that didn't revoke any feedback either.  
There were dark rings under his eyes, and the tenseness of his muscles indicated a sleepless night in this very position. "Gavin, I will help you to get into a more comfortable position."  
It was Connor's plan anyways, but there was much resistance from the detective. He wouldn't budge; and while the android knew very well he was strong enough, he didn't want to hurt the other by pulling too strong.  
"Nines, can you tell me what happened?" The boy was holding onto the other. But he appeared calmer now - if it was Connor's presence or anther factor he didn't know, nor was that important right now. All that mattered was Nines' stress lowering.

"I broke the CD yesterday, and... and then Gavin got angry- but I didn't do it on purpose! But he still hurt me, and then I was sent to bed without Penelope. I was scared of the loud noises- and.. and-"  
"Hey, hey, it's okay, Nines. Calm down. Take deep breaths," he instructed. He himself needed to take some deep breaths as well, no matter if the action was useless considering he didn't need air. But it shocked him to hear that Gavin had hurt his android companion. What the hell had happened yesterday?

Richard did as told, and once his stress levels had sunk a little lower, Conner asked: "What do you mean by 'he hurt you'? Has he done so often?" Connor didn't think Gavin was abusive, but Nines wouldn't lie to him about something like this.  
The boy shook his head vehemently. "I broke something important. And then he got angry and spanked me. He later tried to apologise, but I pretended to be asleep."  
It could be a reasonable explanation if Gavin had been feeling overly stressed, and accidentally lashed out in the moment. It was still rather unpleasant that he had acted the way he did, and once the man was responsive he would talk to him about it.

But for now: getting Gavin to be responsive in the first place.  
"Alright.. do you know what is going on, Nines?"  
"Yes! Gavin has a catonic... cantin.. catonia- uh," the boy stammered helplessly due to the complexity of the word he wanted to say. But Connor's quick search of symptoms in addition to the similarity of the words Richard was saying, he found what he needed. "Gavin is suffering from a catatonic episode. Do not worry, Nines," he offered a soothing smile, "Gavin will be in good hands at the hospital-"  
"No!" Connor's eyebrows raised in bewilderment.  
"Gavin doesn't like hospitals!" Nines hugged the detective, new tears forming in his eyes "So I don't like them, too!"

Well, from what Connor had gathered, immediate hospitalisation wasn't necessary - it depended greatly on the duration of the episode and if the person in question was able to ingest drink or food.  
But, even if the RK800 wanted to oblige the boy's wishes, it wouldn't be possible. Who would take care of Gavin? Hank and him had to work. And now that Gavin was unable to, someone else had to care for Richard as well. The situation did not look good for anyone involved.

"I will make a quick call to Fowler and inform him about the current events," Connor got up and was already on his way to the hallway for some privacy, when he was interrupted yet again: "No! Connor, Gavin is scared he will lose his job!"  
"But why would he lose his job, Nines? Captain Fowler will understand the urgency of this situation, I am sure."  
The boy didn't look satisfied by his answer, but didn't retort in any way.

Nines felt horrible. He was not only worried for Gavin, but feeling guilty as well. If it wasn't for him being stuck in this small body, he would have been able to take care of him! But he couldn't, and the frustration he was feeling because of that fact burned a hole into his thirium pump. It hurt to realise that Gavin was also unresponsive to his current body, whereas before he had at least let him move his limbs; now they were as tense as ever, refusing to relax for even a moment.

He didn't want to cry in front of Connor or the detective, but he couldn't help the tears that collected in his eyes once more.  
Why did this have to happen? It wasn't **fair**!

"Hey, Nines, what is it? Fowler told me it's okay and that Gavin can take some time off until he is responsive again." Connor tried to appease him, but that wasn't the important part. It was... everything! _Everything_ that was happening at once. Nines couldn't handle it.  
"Please, don't cry.. In a few hours you will be able to play with Sumo again! He will be so happy to see you!"  
Nines shook his head and hugged the RK800 who had knelt before him.  
The greatest comfort right now was the arms that held him. Warm and secure, even if they couldn't replace Gavin's.

He was held for a few minutes, and it was enough time for him to calm down a little.  
Nines helped Connor with packing a bag for while Gavin and him would stay over at Mr. Anderson's place.  
Gavin had just continued staring at the wall, letting them do their thing. Nines wouldn't have minded the detective getting up and getting mad at them for searching through their things. But that didn't happen.

When it came time to leave, Connor shouldered both bags, and helped the man on the couch to stand up. He kept his arms tightly wound around his chest, but his legs willingly stood and walked outside towards the taxi that was waiting for them.

It was cold inside the vehicle, and Nines craved the warmth that usually came from his friend. But as he sat on his lap and snuggled up to him, the other wouldn't react. Nines knew why, so why did it still hurt like that? A sting where his thirium pump was, and it got stronger when Connor lifted him off and onto his warm lap instead.

He wanted Gavin back as soon as possible. As well as his own body.

"Look, Gavin! I made this for you!"  
Connor looked over from the kitchen where he had been making dinner, even if he wasn't the person being talked to. Children needed attention after all, and at the moment, Gavin was unable to give the boy any. The RK800 didn't know much of the current model, but he was sure that once Richard was back in his own body, he will have been influenced by this one.  
And as Connor foresaw, Gavin didn't even move the slightest as he sat on the sofa.

Richard was holding a piece of paper out to the unresponsive detective, which had been folded into a neat rose by the boy.  
"It looks wonderful, Nines," Connor commented.  
He looked over and their eyes met. "Do you think Gavin likes it, too?"  
"I'm sure he loves it."

Sumo sat up from his position on his bed next to the TV and trotted to the door, tail wagging excitedly. Hank must be here.  
Connor hadn't told the lieutenant about Gavin and Nines staying here until both were better, so he already expected the surprised yelp from him. What he didn't expect was the outburst of anger.  
"What the hell is _he_ doin' here, Connor?! First you disappear on me, and now that asshole is sitting on _my_ sofa!"  
The old man stomped towards Gavin, Sumo letting out a low whine as he sensed the tense emotions permeating the air.  
"Has Fowler not told you that Gavin has a couple days off?"  
"No, he hasn't. And to be honest I would have liked to have heard that from you!" Hank grabbed the front of Gavin's shirt and pulled him off the couch. "And what are you being all quiet here? Don't think you won't get your share of a stern talking-to, asshole!"

"Hank, please calm down! You're scaring Nines."  
The man obviously would have liked to exclaim that he didn't care, but seeing the child android hanging onto Gavin's leg desperately, while the detective himself didn't react, he did as told. He dropped Gavin back onto the cushions.  
"What is it? Is he dead? Or had he finally gone crazy?" Hank bent down and waved a hand in front of the man's face. What he had said evidently hadn't been the most.. tactful. Because Nines' expression went from distressed, to outright terrified.  
"Gavin is-," the tears already formed in his eyes and the old man quickly knelt down.  
"N-no, no, no! I'm sure he's fine, kiddo! If something bad were happenin', Connor would have done something." The boy started to cry regardless, and Hank felt absolutely like the biggest asshole in the world right now.

Connor fortunately took over and lifted Nines up into his arms. "Hank, what is going on with you? You're usually not that aggressive. Not anymore, at least." Disappointment showed in the RK800's eyes, and the lieutenant understood that. Still didn't make him feel any better.  
"I.. I'm sorry, Connor. Work's been stressful today." He rubbed his forehead; a gesture Connor found easy to identify: Tenseness.  
"What happened?"  
"I'll tell you later. Gonna take a shower first."

With that he disappeared into the bathroom, but not before yelling over his shoulder that his android partner better explain the Gavin-situation later as well.

"Can I sleep on the couch as well, Connor?" Nines asked hopeful while his friend helped him into his sleeping garments. Penelope was sitting on the faucet's edge, and Nines couldn't wait to hold her again. He felt alone without it.  
"I don't think that would be good for your joints. And a bed will be much more comfortable anyways, don't you think so, too?"  
"But I wanna sleep with Gavin!" he protested.  
Connor put on the last sock, then handed the tired android kid his plushie. "If you want I can let him sleep in my room as well. But he'll first have to eat dinner."

Gavin hadn't eaten with him, nor had Mr. Anderson, who had still been in the shower. At least Sumo had enjoyed his company.  
Connor led him to his bedroom. The bed did look rather comfy. But he didn't want to sleep alone. "Can you leave the door open?"  
His friend didn't look pleased by the request _(why?)_ , but ultimately nodded, giving him a soft smile. "Of course. And if you're scared, you can call for us, okay?"  
"Okay... Connor?"  
"Yes?"  
"Can you... call Gavin's brother tomorrow? And ask him about my body?"  
The RK800 unit's eyes widened in surprise. "Gavin's.. brother? Of course I can, I didn't know he had one."  
"He keeps it secre- Oh oh..." Nines covered his mouth before he gave away anything else his friend had wanted to keep hidden. Gavin hopefully didn't mind that he had told Connor.  
The RK800 sat down on the bed next to him, and pulled him in for a hug. "Hey, it's okay, Nines. Gavin surely won't mind. And I won't tell anyone else either."  
The boy nodded. He still felt guilty.

"You should really go to sleep now. It's been a stressful day and you need rest." He was tucked under the cover and lights were turned off.  
"Goodnight, Connor."  
"Goodnight, Nines."

"C'mon, Gavin. Eat! You can't keep ignoring me forever," Hank growled at the detective as the android reentered the kitchen. Connor watched from the edge of the room, waiting for Gavin's reaction. The man continued to stare straight down at the kitchen table - or through it, really.  
As Hank tried to put the fork with Mac'n'Cheese against the unresponsive man's lips, the other's torso twisted to the side sluggishly, but he saw how tense the muscles were even as the movements looked so tired.  
"Hey, don't turn away from me!" The old man tried to position Gavin back to face forward, but he resisted near forcefully.  
"Hank, stop! You'll only hurt him," Connor walked over to place his hands on the lieutenants wrists and prevent him from further distressing Gavin. "He is showing signs of aversion. It's normal. You won't achieve anything by injuring or forcing him to do something he doesn't want to do."  
"Well, the man's gotta eat something! Look at him; he looks at least 10 pounds lighter ever since he's been lookin' after Richard."  
"Hank, I agree with the notion of making him eat something. But if he refuses, we cannot help the situation."  
"We could try to persuade him! But honestly, I am getting sick of this. You can try later. I'm going to bed." The man got up from the chair to go get ready for bed.  
"That is a good idea," Connor agreed, not taking his eyes off the detective.

The two were alone now, save for Sumo who was laying on his bed in the living room. Connor got an idea. One that seemed unlikely and irrational. Being a happy deviant, he didn't mind and went to realise his plan.  
"Sumo," he called the dog over while sitting down in the chair Hank had previously occupied. With a waggling tail, the animal sat down on the floor next to Connor, holding out a paw that demanded pets. Exactly what would be given to him, but not from the android.  
"Hey, Gavin. How about petting Sumo for a little? He had been demanding your attention a couple times today already. No one else is here right now. Hank is in the bathroom and Nines is asleep in my bedroom," he assured Gavin of the current situation in the room and what he wanted him to do. "Come on, I'll assist you," he said quietly and gently placed his hand on Gavin's wrist, giving him a few seconds to adjust to the feeling of someone touching him. When he pushed his hand down towards the animal's head, he didn't resist much and let Connor place his hand on top of Sumo's head. The moment Gavin's hand touched the soft fur, he started running his fingers through it on his own.

A small step, but it was still a big win for Connor. "Good, good. Just like that."  
"Now," he continued, taking the fork with noodles and handing it to Gavin, "just hold this and try to eat. Don't worry. No one will be angry if you don't eat. Just try to."

Sumo had taken to resting his head on Gavin's lap, and whatever that meant for Gavin, it was giving the human enough of a push to put the fork in his mouth. Connor was ecstatic.

After a few minutes of Connor putting food on the fork, and Gavin slowly lifting it up to his lips, half of the dish was gone. It wasn't nearly enough to sustain the man, who hadn't eaten anything in presumably 24 hours, but it was better than nothing.

Connor would take care of the dirty dishes later, once Gavin was in bed as well.  
Hank had already whispered him goodnight earlier to not interrupt Gavin's meal and possibly causing him to stop eating.

"How about we get you changed into something more comfortable now so you can rest?" he helped Gavin up and to the bathroom to aid changing his clothes. But as the were on the way into the bathroom, Connor felt the resistance of Gavin refusing to enter by gripping onto the doorway. It reminded him of the time he had to get the lieutenant sobered up.

"Don't want to change into anything?" He didn't receive an answer, but Connor just... felt that Gavin would answer with a 'no'. "Well, then I'll at least remove your pants. It's unhealthy to sleep with them on." He could also imagine Gavin telling him how much of a shit he gave about being healthy, but there was no such comment from the detective.

So once Connor had done as told, and the two were on their way to his bedroom, Gavin had stopped walking once again, standing in front of the opened door. There was a good view to the inside, and a good view from the bed to the hallway which they were standing in.

"What is it, Gavin?" His blue LED reflected on the wall.  
The detective didn't say anything, but just leaned forward and wrapped his arms around the other tightly, face still expressionless. Connor was unsure of what to do now. Should he... hug back?  
The moral of his following decision was tried further as he heard the man whisper: _"Nines.."  
  
_ Gavin wasn't confusing him with Nines, was he? He was well aware that they looked pretty similar, but the detective knew both of them long enough to differentiate between them as their own people.

_"..Like Nines.."_

Connor wrapped his arms around Gavin, no ill intentions behind the action. But apparently that had been a bad decision, as it prompted the human to react in a way he hadn't anticipated.

 _Gavin kissed him on the lips!_ It had just been a light touch, but the shock of it had the android reel back and reconsider about further actions, LED circling between yellow and red.  
Everyone at the precinct was aware of Nines' and Gavin's relationship. And even if the RK900 was currently not.. himself, he was still Gavin's partner.

Gavin couldn't possibly be cheating on his friend, could he? Not consciously at least.  
His reaction hadn't been the most tactful, and it showed in the way Gavin curled up and shrunk into himself.

"I.. I suppose this had been a slip-up. We will talk about this once you feel better. For now, you should rest." With that Gavin was sent to bed, and Connor watched him get into bed carefully.

Nobody noticed Nines watching them from his position on the mattress. No one came to comfort him as his thirium pump beat heavily in his chest.

Gavin didn't need him anymore, did he? Connor was there now - currently the strongest and most resilient android walking the streets of Detroit.

He had become obsolete.


	6. Have you seen him? Brown hair, only that tall?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A nice day at the park, at a playground with other children. That is what it is supposed to be.  
> Too bad life doesn't work that way.

Gavin still didn't want to... _couldn't_ move the next day.  
And was there really a reason to? Nines' lookalike took care of everything for him; putting on fresh clothes and making him breakfast. He didn't need to do much, and honestly, he was too lazy to do anything. If "lazy" meant complete disinterest to what was going on around him.

During the night, Nines had laid closer to him, and he had let his arm drape over his small body to keep him warm. But that had already been all the energy he could invest before he had let his own body become numb once more.

Despite him being unable to move, or unable to think with any focus behind it, thoughts could still pass freely in his mind.  
Such things as:  
What if he was going to stay in this headspace of his until Nines was back to being himself?  
Was he scared to face his friends and his kid, because of what he had done, and thus opted to just ignoring them all until he died?  
What did Nines think of this?

And one thought, a sign he could see despite all the blurriness around the edges of his vision, was how Nines looked the next day. During breakfast, while busy watching TV or petting Sumo, the boy was awfully quiet. Just like he had been at the beginning of this.. problem. Gavin didn't mind calling the situation at hand that word. But he was sure that the android-kid would. He was sure that the light frown he wore would deepen, and he knew that he would sink further into the dark hole he had indirectly pushed himself into.

Did he even want to climb out? Nines was going to leave. He knew that ever since... whenever he had hurt him. It was an inevitable fact, one that couldn't be ignored. One he would have to live with for the rest of his life. Depending on how much longer he lived though, pain could be avoided.

Sumo was in front of him, a leash attached to his collar, and he was licked at his hands.

Had it always been so bright inside Hank's house? It was just too bright, and it burned his eyes which just wouldn't want to adjust, no matter how long he kept his eyes forced open. And it was cold, too. His hands stung, his nose was runny.

"Gavin?"

He was lost. He didn't know where he was. This wasn't Hank's home, but he didn't remember leaving it. He needed an anchor, something to hold him down as his mind floated up in the clouds.

"Gavin?"

A hand held his, one wrapped in a glove. But it held onto his freezing fingers tightly. For a moment he hoped, as dumb as it was, that it was the RK900 model walking next to him.

He was walking. He was outside.

Hopes were quickly wiped out when he felt just how _tiny_ the hand holding his own was. And how much he couldn't **stand it**.  
Nines was his anchor. But all he saw was a... another version of him - one that wasn't him! 

He pulled his hand away, putting them in the pockets of his jacket. Gavin pretended not to see the expression on the boy's face as he looked down for a millisecond. It was half a truth.

There was snow. That was why it was so bright wherever he looked. Couldn't flee from it. He wanted to go home. Be alone. Alone, alone. Without Ronald, or Richard, or whoever he was now!

"Aye! You stay here, you asshole!" a gruff voice called out to him. But he couldn't see who had yelled at him. He only felt a sudden tug at his arm that forced his legs to stop moving. He slowly turned around to face Hank. The man looked angry for a second, but then his expression changed to something for.. empathetic?  
"God, you're really out of it, aren't you? Connor told me you were all kinds of crazy now. C'mon," another tug at his arm and he was moving in the opposite direction of where he had wanted to go again, "the park isn't much further."

And that was true. At least Gavin thought so - not that he could keep track of how much time passed.

The park was under a blanket of snow; at least most parts of it, where the kids weren't playing snowball fights, or catch or... he was too lazy to look further. He just wanted to sit down and sleep. Forget. Be unconscious.

"How about we build a little igloo, Nines? There's enough snow layin' around here." Hank.  
"Hm.. I don't know.. I- I think I want to sit down a little first." The YK600.  
Ha ha, Gavin had worried about this just shortly before, hadn't he? That Nines would be like him at the playground or park: Just sitting, and observing others having fun. Not allowing himself to partake in any of the activities in favour of appearing more mature and making his father proud.  
"Alright. I'll start gatherin' some snow then. You can join me whenever you like," Hank had a soft smile on his face, knowing that children wouldn't normally be able to resist an activity like this for long.  
Well, he didn't know Gavin. And seemingly, he also didn't know Nines. The boy who was observing him and learning from him.

Fuck this. He had to show Nines that it was okay to enjoy life. That he was okay with all this...  
Gavin was sitting on the bench before he even completed the thought.

**Asshole. You got a kid to keep happy. And all you do is sit on your lazy bum all day?  
Priceless.**

He didn't want to sit here, did he?   
But if he didn't, then why wasn't he moving? Why wasn't he urging Nines to get off the fucking bench and have some fun in the snow?  
"I..," he whispered, watching as the lieutenant shovelled some snow together with his hands, "I want you to.." Was Nines even listening? Would him saying anything even make a difference? He had probably fucked it all up already - things not even directly involving his partner-turned-kid. Connor.. last night.. when he-

"I want you to have fun, Nines. I'll stay here and watch." The sudden push of his inner bastard had prompted the words out. He may not have seen the other, his gaze straight forward, but he could start to feel it. He could feel the cold spreading from his hands and up his arms. He could feel the stinging cold in his ears and nose. He felt. He saw. With more clarity than in the last few hours. He didn't know if he liked it.

"But I don't want to leave you alone, Gavin! You look so sad." The only sadness Gavin felt in response was at how gloomy Nines sounded saying that.  
"It's okay, Nines. I'll be fine. If you want I can build the igloo with you," he turned his head towards him, as difficult as that gesture was. But it was rewarded with a warm feeling, seeing just how happy the small boy looked when he had done so.  
His smile looked so genuine. "You would?!" He would certainly try, even if most he would be able to do was push some snow around.  
He smiled back in response and kissed the top of his head before urging his stiff body to get off the fucking bench and trot over to where Hank was kneeling.

They had been busy with the miniature igloo, when something cold hit Gavin in the back of his head. He didn't bother turning around to see who it was. He didn't care.  
Hank laughed next to him. "Ha, that kid got a good aim!"  
"But he hit Gavin!" Nines protested.  
"Ah, don't worry about that, kiddo. It's just a little snow. You haven't ever taken part in a snowball fight, have you? Now would be a good time then. This group of other children look like they want to play with you," Hank encouraged the android to go and play with others his "age".

Nines looked at something behind him, a worried expression on his face.  
Gavin turned around as well, seeing a group consisting of four children standing there, as if waiting. "Hank is right. A snowball fight is an experience to have. You can go play with them." He gently and encouragingly pushed Nines towards them.  
"Will you play with us?"  
An uncomfortable question. He didn't want to answer, and, thank god, Hank answered it in his place: "Let the man have a small break from all the heavy construction he's been doing. He's getting old." Not a comment he needed to hear, but appreciated nonetheless. His body may be moving on its own again, but he was still dead-tired.

With that, Nines was off and away, playing with other children. Gavin couldn't suppress the smile as he watched him run around, trying to form snowballs with his gloved and clumsy hands.  
"C'mon, get up, Gavin. You're gonna freeze sitting in the snow like that." Hank helped him off the ground and they took a seat on the bench. Sumo was still sitting by the igloo. Was the dog protecting it?

"How are you feeling, Gavin? About all this?"  
He turned his head to look at the old geezer who just had to remind him of Nines' current predicament. "What do you mean?"  
"Don't play dumb with me, asshole. I cannot completely understand what you're going through, but I've been.. a father myself before. I know that it can be stressful."  
Ha, yeah. It was stressful. Certainly. "It's hard, Hank. I miss.. I miss _Nines_. But he isn't here right now."  
"Nines is very much here," Hank huffed, and Gavin glared at him. "Okay, okay. I know what you mean... Have you talked with anyone about basically losing your boyfriend?"  
"No, I haven't had the time."  
"No wonder you broke down, then. That shit's gotta weigh on you." It did. He almost killed his partner, because of his incompetence. And now he had lost him.

"I.. I did something horrible before going complete mental on everyone," Gavin whispered, leaning forward and burying his face in his hands. It hurt to think of that night when Nines broke his CD, and he had done the unimaginable. Something he had never thought he was able of doing. He was ashamed, but he wanted to talk about it with someone, someone who would understand and maybe forgive him in his place; because he really couldn't forgive himself for the way he had been treating Richard ever since he was stuck in the YK600."  
"What is it?"  
Gavin looked up at him, numb fingers shaking not only from the cold he was feeling. "I.. I hit Nines."

Both were quiet for a second. Then:  
"You did what?!" Hank stood up, and Sumo trotted over, seeing what his friend was so distressed about.  
"N-no! Wait! It's not what you think!"  
"Then you better start explaining, real quick!" An accusing finger was pointed at him. As if he didn't already know what he had done, himself.  
"I.. listen, I was really tired that day when I picked him up. We went to my brother for a checkup of his memories; it was bad news. And then we got home and he.. broke something really important to me. I know that's not a reason to hit a kid - there is no reason to ever hit a kid, okay? I know that!" he quickly quieted himself when people started looking in their general direction. Fuck.  
"I lost control for a moment, Hank... _Jesus, I am just like my bastard of a father!_ " There the tears were. "I swear, Hank, I didn't mean to do it. I just snapped; one moment I saw the broken CD, the next I heard Nines crying in the bedroom. It was horrible."  
"Yes it was horrible," Hank still didn't sit down. The man rubbed his forehead, looking over to where Nines was playing. "What were you thinking?"  
"I **wasn't thinking**! That's always the problem with me: I don't think." He stood up, hands balled into fists. "I am just going about life, stumbling from one mishap into the next. And the greatest part is, I don't even learn from my mistakes!" He let out a laugh. It pained him. "Won't be surprised when Nines finally decides he'd had enough of me. I've had enough 'Gavin'-ness for one lifetime as well."

He wanted to stop talking. They were in public, goddammit! But it was so difficult, now that he had finally started spilling all his dirty secrets.  
Gavin was angry. Furious. He was angry at the truck driver, at the fucking snow and winter, he was angry at his father. And most of all, he was angry with himself. He could punch himself in the face if they weren't outside right now! He could drink half a bar empty, if it would only put out the uncontainable fire in his body.

He-

"Gavin, I just got a message from Connor."  
And why should he be bothered? As far as the detective was concerned, he could lose his job at any second.  
"Child abductors are making their way around again."

"Really funny, Hank. That's really not something I need to hear right now," he put his hands in his jacket pockets. The rage he had felt mere moments before had vanished; the numbness left him feel hallow. Nines was here with them, there was no reason to worry, but he was still concerned.  
"I'm not pulling your leg, Gavin. I wish I was. But unfortunately sickos like that are real. We should go home soon anyway."

Good idea.  
"Nines?" Gavin could use a shower, and Nines needed to drink something. "Nines?"

From all the children running around, the android couldn't be seen.  
Hank and him exchanged a quick glance. They didn't need words to understand each other.  
Gavin's blood ran cold, and his heart was beating nearly out of his chest as he looked around in all directions, without a trace of where Nines could have gone.

"Sumo," the old man called out, and the dog obediently looked up at him. "Nines! Search for Nines!" He pointed at the playground to give the animal a general direction. Sumo began to sniff at the snow.  
"Shit, Hank- what are we- where-?!" He was going to go crazy! No way had Nines been taken! Please, God, why? His ribs hurt from how violently his heart seemed to be hammering against them. His legs felt like lead as he followed the dog towards the bushes behind the playing field, seeing something familiar laying in the snow once he was close enough. The white colour hid it from sight near perfectly, but it was clearly recognisable for the detective: The cat plushie Nines barely let go of.

"No.. no, nono _no_.." He picked it up, despair apparent in his voice.  
The dog continued sniffing, but Gavin didn't have time for that! He had to find him, before it was too late! He couldn't lose Nines again.

He pushed through the shrubbery, not caring how the dried, little branches held onto his clothes, or how they scratched his face.

" **Nines?!** " he yelled out again, in hope he would receive an answer back. " **Nines!** " But none came.

He sprinted towards the stone path a few feet away where the footsteps were leading from the bushes, but the path itself had been cleared.  
A young couple passed him. "Have you seen a small boy, around this height?" he gestured hurriedly, "he has brown hair, wears a white jacket, and.. and black gloves!"  
The couple shook their head. They looked concerned, seeing quickly what was going on from how distraught the stranger in front of them looked.  
Gavin ran out towards the street, looking in all directions for some sign that Nines was still around.

" **NINES!** " He had to be around here somewhere. He had just _stood there moments before_.

He didn't care if there were cars driving around. He stepped onto the road, running along the lines of cars parked towards his right. Cars honked at him, but he continued running.

Gavin hadn't wanted to believe it, but Nines was just a kid. _He was just a kid_.

"Nines!" he yelled again, and again, until his throat felt raw. And still he felt like he could scream all day. If only he could find him this way. But he never received an answer.

Where could he be?! He couldn't have been kidnapped. He was just a _kid_...

"Gavin, stop goddammit!"  
The detective turned around, seeing Hank jogging towards him breathlessly. But he looked right through him. His thoughts were somewhere else.

Hank knew this fear. Cole had wandered a little too far before as well. He had found him only 5 minutes later, but it had felt like an eternity to him.  
And now Gavin was feeling it for the first time as well. The lieutenant would have wished that Gavin wouldn't ever experience this for himself. That whatever god was up there would have spared the man from this. But here they were.

"Gavin," he repeated again, quieter this time, now that the man had stopped running from him. He wasn't sure if Gavin's unmoving form was any better though; he was obviously shaken by this, body tense and breath shallow. His eyes were glistening as if on the brink of tears.

"Hank, he- he can't be gone, I just saw him- he had just been there with us- where could he-," the other started to sob uncontrollably, "he has to be around here somewhere."  
Gavin fell to his knees, head nearly touching the asphalt as he cried, body folding underneath the heavy weight of the daunting realisation: Nines had been taken. Nines wasn't someone who just ran off and didn't return, especially when being called so often.

Luckily no cars were driving towards them right now, and Hank didn't have to make a scene and explain to nosy strangers what was happening.

He knelt next to his colleague.. his friend, and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Gavin, I know how it feels, but it's going to be fine. We're gonna find that fucking psycho, and get Nines back. C'mon, let's go to the precinct and get your case filed - get the gears moving on this case as early as possible."  
The old man was holding on tightly to Gavin's shoulders as he hoisted him back to his feet. A rather strenuous task with Gavin barely assisting him.  
The man thrashed weakly in his hold, body turning away towards the direction he had been running towards. "No- we have to- I have to find him- he-," hiccups interrupted every other word, but Hank knew this pain, so he understood what he was trying to express as well.

"Listen, I know you wanna find him, but if he had been taken, then whoever it was won't hang around here for long."  
"He had- the last time I- I really spoke to him- I.. yelled and I-" He knew where this was going, and he wasn't having it.  
"Shut the fuck up, Gavin! You told me that night wasn't one of your best. Now get yourself together and go back to the playground, see if he Nines is still there after all!"

These weren't the nicest words he could have used, but it was enough to get the man moving off the road.

* * *

Connor had just returned from the archive to look over a few older files that might help progress the case, when the precinct got louder and more hectic.  
He looked towards the entrance of the room, seeing Hank, Sumo and... Gavin enter? What were they doing here? Why was Gavin having a panic attack? And where was..

Oh no.

The RK800 rushed over to them, their colleagues beginning to stare at the disheveled form of their usual tough-guy, who was now bawling in front of them.  
It was incredibly unnerving to see the man so stressed. So out of it.

Hank had a good grip on his arm, and if it had been too tight, Gavin wasn't paying any mind to it.  
"Hank, I don't know what happened, but I believe my suspicions are correct that-"  
"Yes, Connor," he leaned closer to his partner while letting go of Gavin's arm, whispering: "Don't say it out loud. Gavin was more hysterical on the way here. I'm glad he managed to get his feet back under him."  
"Why would you bring him here when he is like this?!" The android glanced over to the man in question, watching as he simply slumped against he wall, sliding down until he was sitting on the tiled floor. It hurt him to see him so miserable. He was holding something in his hand tightly, a white plushie Connor recognised. He felt his own tear ducts start to work as the image in front of him burned into his hard drive.  
"I wanted to make him feel better, okay? Say that if he gave a statement, that it would be better than aimlessly running around outside and getting himself run over by a car! He's really out of it. We need to file a new missing report now anyway."

"Yes, let's get the files ready."  
Hank walked towards their desks, sitting down and grabbing his tablet to open the files he would need.

Connor knelt down in front of Gavin, scanning him.  
Greatly elevated heart rate. Shaking hands. The detective appeared to be looking around agitatedly, as if looking for their missing friend even in here.

"Gavin?" he asked carefully. His grey eyes focused on him, acknowledging his presence, before he started mumbling hysterically: "Connor, I swear I had only left him out of my sight for a moment. And then- when I looked again- he.." His heart rate was spiking. He needed to calm him down somehow.

"Gavin? Oh god, what happened?" Connor heard Tina's voice behind him. Maybe Tina would be able to calm Gavin down enough for them to take his statement so he could go back home with Hank and Sumo.  
"O-oh god, Tina!" Gavin got up, gripping his friend's shoulders as if she were to run off. "You were out on patrol today, right? Have you seen Nines? Anything suspicious?! Have you been at the park, or-"  
"Gavin, do as practiced: Breathe in," she demonstrated, "and out."

The hiccups prevented Gavin from doing as asked at first, but as he focused on Tina's hand gestures and mimicking her motions, his breathing gradually got slower.

"I.. I was outside at the park today. With Hank and Nines. And then he was suddenly gone- I don't know where he went. This motherfucker of a child abductor running around must've gotten him."  
"Nines isn't a child, Gavin. He can defend himself."  
"NO! No, he is- _he is just a kid_. Ronald, Tina. That's him! He got into an accident, and hi- his body had to," Connor stepped between them, seeing how Gavin was working himself up again, even without the help of his scanners.

"Gavin, you can talk about this later. Come on, this way," he gently urged the man towards Hank's desk.

Connor shot Tina an apologetic look. She looked confused, but understanding all the same. He was sure she would come over later to spend some time with her friend.

They were all staring at him, and for once, Gavin appreciated it. Because the more people knew Nines was missing, the more were keeping an eye out for him.

He described the littlest details of Nines' appearance to Hank. A few times he must have added some 'unimportant' information, because the two men in front of him gingerly brought him back to the topic at hand. He didn't realise he was rambling. What couldn't be important to mention?! This was Nines they were talking about!

The boy who needed to be found soon, because if not, he would forget things, and.. and he would die, because his kidnapper surely wasn't going to give him thirium to drink. He looked like a fucking human child!  
And he was acting like one, too.

God, he would let Nines break all his CDs at home, if he could only have him waltz right into the precinct as if nothing had happened.

He had barely gotten out of his catatonic episode. He was emotionally vulnerable - that's why it must have hurt so much.  
But Gavin knew when he was bullshitting himself. And that was a huge pile of bullshit right there.

And there was another truck full of crap added to the pile, when Hank told him that Fowler ordered the detective to stay out of this case.  
He knew the Captain was right. He was in no condition to work, nor to think. And thus, to everyone's surprise, he gave in. He only asked of his friends that they find Nines soon.

He just wished to have Nines there again. Drawing him pictures, and watching TV with the curiosity only a child could express.  
He wanted to make him breakfast, and help him shower and dress. He wanted to be there for him, wherever he was.

_**God, he wanted him back.** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have any of you watched the video where mothers and fathers, and their children got separated?  
> They first showed clips of parents losing their child for a few minutes. They were hysterical, and the children were later found.  
> Then they compared it to clips of how parents reacted to their children returning to them after years.
> 
> I don't know why it stuck to me. I am not a parent. But it still did.


	7. IMPORTANT: NOT A CHAPTER

Hello guys.  
  
It's been a almost a week in which I haven't done much work on _any_ of my books.

School had started recently, stress built up and the time I am able to spend writing while also hitting the books had gotten significantly less.

Don't worry, though. I am not going away any time soon. The chapters for all the books I am working on will just take more time.

I hope none of you are too sad about this, I know this book means something great for some of you. I will try to get something out soon, though I cannot guarantee it with all the tests awaiting me.

By the way, what would y'all say if I were to follow this book up with a third one? Make this baby a trilogy? No spoilers for what I have planned though! ;)

Have a great morning, noon, evening or night!


	8. I'm not falling. I'm landing. Gracefully.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin thinks he will never see Nines again. In whatever way, shape or form.  
> But then things change from bad to good.
> 
> Only to go from good to worst.
> 
> But what else is new?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mother: No, you can't just ignore your need to sleep and eat to finish the chapter you've been working on for way too long!  
> Me: haha, angst go brrrr

Once the report and all other paperwork had been dealt with, Hank, Sumo and Gavin made their way home. Hank would return once the detective was safe somewhere inside and had calmed down a little.

Connor felt absolutely awful.  
He hadn't seen Gavin so distraught before, so lost and confused. And just so miserable.

The theory of Gavin not seeing Nines as his own person after he had been put into a different body with its own personality - but somehow still being himself - was gone after having seen the mess the man had become.  
He really would have preferred to find that out another way than.. this.

The android knew of the urgency of finding Nines. The android needed thirium, and due to looking and acting as human as he did, his abductor won't take the correct care of his needs. If Hank and him didn't find Richard in time, there might be no Richard to save any longer.  
If no thirium loss was to occur, Nines' levels should completely deplete in around 40 hours. And even reaching a level of around 10% was already too harmful for the biocomponents.

The odds stood against them, having even less than two days.

* * *

"I don't think you staying at your apartment alone is a good idea, Reed."  
"Jesus, Hank! What do you think I'm gonna do? Kill myself?!"

Gavin had told Anderson he wanted to go back home. Spend some time alone to get his shit together, and let the lieutenant do his work so Nines would be found faster. Two minds thought better than just one, Gavin had found that out for himself a few months ago with the very person that wasn't with him anymore.

The old man gave him a doubtful look, head tilting to the side as arms came up to rest across his chest.  
Gavin clenched his fists, realising the weight which his carelessly, blurted-out words carried. "I..," he started again, hand coming up to cover his eyes as he feared more tears were to escape, "I just need to be alone, okay? I don't want to embarrass myself further by breaking down in front of you like that again."  
"You didn't embarrass yourself, Reed. You acted like any loving parent would; you were panicked and scared. Still are. And you should finally learn to accept that about yourself. You are able to feel these things, and it's best to tackle them headfirst instead of letting them destroy you. Trust me, I know."  
"I.. this is just new for me, Hank. I never thought I'd have to play a dad in my life."  
"Well, you have to, now. And you should do it for Nines. How do you think he feels about it? Suddenly being in a different body with all these different needs? I'm not saying you're being egoistical here, I understand it's not much easier for you. Just.. try to put yourself in hies shoes."

That may have been the very problem. He could put himself in Nines' shoes too well. It pained him to see just how similar they were. Like when he had just slowly gotten out of his catatonic episode on the way to the park. Nines had reached for his hand, and he - the substitute dad of the year - had pulled his own hand away. He had refused to show him the attention and love he deserved with a simple gesture like that.

His heart squeezed painfully at the memory from earlier today.

If he could go back and decide differently, he would. He would make sure Nines knew he was important to him. He would hold his hand whenever he asked for it, hug him, carry him through the station as if he were all his pride. Because that was who he was to him.

He didn't realise he was crying until Anderson had stepped closer and forced him out of his thoughts.  
"Hey, it's okay. It's going to be fine, Gavin."  
Hot tears rolled down his face. He wasn't strong enough to hold them back.  
Arms wrapped around him, and he was surprised to find Hank - fucking - Anderson _hugging_ him. "Nines is going to be okay, Gavin."  
"I.. I fucking hope so," he grumbled out, hiding his face in the lieutenant's jacket. "I don't want to lose him."

That were the last words of importance the two had exchanged before continuing to walk to Hank's house so Gavin could grab his and Nines' things.  
It had been difficult to not let the pens and colouring pages bother him, but to no surprise; these items had reminded him of Nines.

Now he sat in his living room, on the sofa he remembered the two of them sleeping on after Nines' first time wetting the bed. He remembered how distressed the android had been, whether it was out of embarrassment or fear of punishment, he didn't know. It didn't matter though, because the boy had taken it like a champ, soon after falling asleep again. But here, with him.

Gavin took another drag of his third cigarette. The ashtray on his coffee table hadn't found much use recently, so he needed to make up for the non-smoked fags now that he needed them the most.  
Not even Ava was here to comfort him anymore.

Now that dropped his already low mood even further.

" _Phck..._ ," he groaned, feeling the heavy sobs already working up his throat. He rubbed the tense muscles over his forehead. He was going to get wrinkles at the age of 40 at this rate. He needed to do something. Distract himself. Fowler had told him to not get involved in the case because he was most invested.

Distraction, distraction. Gavin looked around his dusty apartment. He could do something he barely ever did, because Nines usually took care of it for him.  
The man got up with a groan, feeling his exhausted muscles relaxing slightly as he stretched them out. He better get to cleaning the apartment. Nothing much else could be done right now anyways.

Gavin grabbed the vacuum cleaner from his storage room and started with cleaning the floor. He didn't like hearing the loud noise the machine made, but he sure as hell wasn't going to use his old broom to do this; his back protested at the mere thought; 40, his ass! More like fucking going on 50.  
Once that was done, he moved on with wiping the floor with water and soap.  
The few dishes that were there were washed quickly, and lastly he gave the bathroom connected to his bedroom a complete scrubbing.  
  
He had taken his sweet time with it all, and it had given him what he wanted: a distraction.

But now that he stood before the cleaned flat, there was nothing else he really wanted to do, and the thoughts and worries that had been bothering him came back up.  
Gavin knew that he could do whatever he wanted, it wouldn't help. Unless Nines was back here in his apartment with him, safe and happy, he wasn't going to stop overthinking. He wasn't going to rest well, or eat and taste anything that would usually spark joy in him. Because who was there to enjoy a meal with? Who was there to comfort, except himself? And comforting himself was not on his to-do list. It was his fault to have lost Nines to some potential r-..

Oh God, where was Nines? Why would anyone take him from him? He couldn't handle a kid, but he couldn't handle being all alone, either. He wanted him back and hear him babbling to himself again, and he wouldn't mind the boy starting some conversations with the tired substitute-dad that Gavin was.

The substitute-dad that had needed to have their kid taken from them in order to realise their not-kid meant much to them after all.

He felt horrible.

Gavin grabbed his cigarettes from his coffee table and opened the window to let the smoke out that came from the lit stick, placing the ashtray from the table on the window sill.  
He breathed in once, let it out. Breathed in again, exhaled once more.  
Maybe he should call his brother? Maybe he knew where Nines was.

...

Gavin's eyes widened at the sudden realisation that androids usually came with something like a GPS (he was sure it was not called that but who gave a shit?). It meant that he could locate Nines!

The man left the burning cigarette in the ashtray, completely forgotten in favour of stumbling to his phone that laid on the sofa. He grabbed it from the cushion it laid on and looked through his contacts with shaking fingers.

The time it took for the device to get through seemed endless, the beeping a shrill scream in his ear as he held the phone pressed tightly to the side of his face.  
"Gavin? Hey, if you want to-," Elijah asked casually, but Gavin couldn't wait for the man to finish what he was going to say.  
"Elijah! I- You **got** to help me!" Okay, maybe not the best choice of words, but he couldn't help himself. So many thoughts rushed through his exhausted and distraught mind.  
"What is it? Is everything okay?"  
"No, it's not. But if this works, everything will be. Listen, androids come with some GPS system, right?"  
"Yes, you can call it that." The other sounded worried.  
"This body you put Nines in, does it have that?"  
"Gavin, would you exp-"  
" **Does it have that feature?!** " he yelled, his nerves high-strung, and only tipping him closer to the edge while he waited for the answer he wished to hear.  
"Yes, it does, Gavin. What happened? Did you lose him?"  
"He got taken. I'm sure he got fucking abducted. Right in front of me, Eli! I-I didn't even-," the detective stopped himself from rambling, shaking his head to clear his thoughts. He had to act like the detective he was. Emotions were alright, but he needed to get his fucking shit together!

"Could you please find out where he is? I need to find him!" he heard himself almost beg. But that didn't matter. He would fall to his knees and kiss his brother's shoes if asked only to get his friend back.  
"Sure, of course, Gav. Hold on." He heard steps in the background on the other end, then his brother's voice asking someone something. He barely heard.

While hope was cool, and stuff.. it was really not nice to have it ripped away from one. And he worried he had put his faith in the wrong theory. What if the abductor had somehow deactivated that location feature? What if Nines was already laying somewhere dead in a ditch after the abductor had-

"Gavin, are you still there?"  
The man pulled himself out of the horrifying train of thoughts he had nearly gotten lost in, and ran his fingers through his grimy hair. Jesus, he would need to take a shower soon.  
"Y-Yes. Sorry. I am a little out of it right now."  
"I noticed," his brother commented briefly, but quickly continued, "I will send you the location Chloe had been able to pinpoint."

"Thanks, Eli. Have to go now-"  
"Wait!" Gavin had to will himself to not press the red button on his phone's screen. "Be careful, and don't go alone, got it? Richard won't be happy to see you have gotten yourself killed trying to save him. With your impulsive-"  
Gavin huffed: "Yes, _mother_. I have to go now. Promise, I won't go alone!" He ended the call and walked back to his opened window, shutting it after pressing out the butt of the cig still burning there, and successfully burning his fingers in the process. "Phck."

He disregarded the burning feeling in favour of grabbing his car keys and leather jacket, and running out the apartment. His fingers were barely able to lock the door with how much they were shaking. He wasn't scared right now, or at least that wasn't the emotion in the front of his consciousness. He was more-so agitated. Because what if this wasn't it? Nines' body could have been discarded like a broken toy that the abductors couldn't find interest in once seeing that the boy was an android.

What did this child abductor - possibly multiple - even do with the children that had been taken? Gavin didn't want to think about it, but it was a question to consider answering. Therapy, hospital. Depending on what sort of trauma they had been through.

He sprinted out the apartment complex and practically jumped into his car, shoved the keys into the slot and turned it. The motor coughed a few times, before becoming quiet again. Gavin tried again, and again. But after the 5th time he gave up with a groan and checked the gas meter.

Oh. That would explain his car giving up on him: He needed to refill the tank.  
Fuck. Why now?!

He got back out, locked the door and started running down the street. He was **not** going to take a taxi. These remote-controlled cars were slower than if he just walked. Minding traffic laws and shit.

Gavin started sprinting down the street towards the DPD. It was a good walk away, but despite his burning lungs in the cold he kept running. He didn't stop when running inside either, nor when he pushed past people to reach the inside of the bullpen.

He wouldn't be too late.

"REED," he heard someone yell his name, and quickly figured out who it was when Fowler warned: "I told you to go home, damnit! Why can't you ever listen to my orders? I'm your superior!"  
The man was standing at Hank's desk, Gavin's destination, so of course he would be seen.  
"Captain, wait!" he huffed, stemming his arms on his knees. It took him a few seconds to catch his breath, but when he did he finally blurted out: "I know where Nines is, and possibly the other abducted children!"

Hank eyed his with suspicion, and so did their boss.  
"And how would you know that? Did you do something illegal again, Reed?" Fowler placed his hands on his hips, already formulating a lecture in his bold head. Well, not today!  
"NO! No, I contacted someone who could track Nines' location." Okay, that didn't sound much better.

"Okay, I know what you guys think, but really, I know this person well. He's currently working on getting Nines' body back in working order."  
Fowler's eyebrows raised in surprise. "And who would that person, not involved in any illegal activity, be?"  
"My brother, Elijah Kamski. Don't worry about it now, Fowler. I'll explain later, promise! But now Hank and I got to catch some criminals."  
The detective pulled on the lieutenant's arm, who got off the chair grumbling, but still willingly.

"Yeah, yeah, we'll hurry, Gavin. You don't gotta rip my arm off."

* * *

"You really didn't do anything illegal?"  
Hank didn't take his eyes off the road to look at him in the backseat of the car. Connor was in the front passenger seat, LED spinning a calm yellow. But Gavin could see the android was nervous. And so was he, honestly.

"Yes, I did not. Unless locating an innocent child to _save_ them is illegal all of a sudden!" He barked back, finding it rather hurtful that everyone thought of him as a low-life criminal. Sure, he had broken and bent the rules before to find his friend, but that was months ago!  
"Sorry, just askin'. I never know with you."

Gavin huffed and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Whatever. He could tell Hank to fuck off once they had found Nines and made sure he was safe.

Which brought them to a house rather remote in the woods. It always had to be fucking creepy places like this!

The house was odd three stories high, and adjacent to it was a basement at the side of the towering, hovering building. It looked as if it was breathing, waiting for them. Lingering. There were a couple of old non-automatic cars parked near it as well. The windows were boarded up on every floor.  
Perfect place for a horror movie. Now it only needed to be dark, someone suddenly felt sick or their car broke down and no one had reception here.

"Something is interfering with my systems... I don't have reception here," Connor commented, his LED spinning a little faster.  
 _OF-FUCKING-COURSE._

"Oh phck this, I'm going in!" Gavin growled and opened the door. As he was about to step out, a strong hadn't held him back, and he vigorously turned his head back around to face Connor who had his arm on his shoulder. "What?! C'mon, guys! Who knows what he's doing in there?"  
Connor argued with logic, something Gavin's current mind could not handle well: "Gavin, we cannot just barge in. Who knows how many are in there?"  
"What?" He nearly let out a laugh, desperate, "Are you telling me to _wait_ until something happens? Until someone steps out of the house? What are you waiting for? A fucking warranty?! A dead kid's body?!"

"Shut the fuck up, Reed," Hank looked at him through the rearview mirror. "You going in there and getting yourself in trouble like you always do, is what you are _not_ waiting for. Now close the door and be quiet before you bust us."

It was reasonable what he said. Not how he said it, and that probably was why Gavin understood him finally, and sat back down properly before shutting the door again.  
He crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"So, Connor, you know who lives here? Your searches say anything?" Hank rested his hand on the steering wheel and looked to his partner, who appeared to be in thought.  
"While on the way here I downloaded the reports if an old case that relates with this location. The house is registered to have been empty for a while. So this place could have been used as a hideout only... This place had been a crime scene before." The android looked more unnerved than before, so Gavin asked what it had been.

He wished Hank hadn't asked.  
"15 years ago the house had been used by other criminals as a space to hold other children captive. The police had found some of the missing children alive, most others had been mutilated or..." By the expression on Connor's face Gavin could picture what had occurred. Oh, he hated this. He hated this. He had to get in there, and safe Nines from the grasp of these fuckers!  
"The five convicts had been sentenced to serve a life sentence, but one managed to escape prison after serving ten years. They haven't found him and he was suspected to have left the states."

"Would be a shit coincidence if whoever is in there was our escapee."  
"Yes, Hank. But it is also an opportunity to catch him."

They were just talking, and not **doing** anything. God fucking damnit, Nines was in there! Most likely terrified and alone!

Gavin quickly got out of the car before any of the two could stop him again.  
He walked to the door, gun in his hand and a murderous look in his face.  
At least him moving had pushed the other two outside as well.

Gavin was scared. He wasn't scared for his own life, all he wanted was for Nines to be safe. His heart was beating against his ribs and he noticed his hands shaking. He needed to get his shit together - what if the creeps owned guns as well?

He knew that the basement was another room to search for, one that would be checked off the list of potential hiding spots for the children faster, but he _felt_ that the children were inside the main part of the house. He just _knew_.  
So he placed his ear against the door, waited for a sound, but he couldn't detect anything. He looked back towards Connor, who also didn't appear to have made out any sounds either. Gavin grabbed the doorknob and twisted it very slowly. He was sure the damn door would creak. And it did.

Gavin opened the door, only the mildest sounds emanating from it thanks to his patience. Patience that was quickly dwindling.  
But as the way inside was a gap width opened, he heard a small ping, not loud enough to alarm anyone, but it was followed by a hiss of some sort of mechanism.  
Gavin grunted at the sudden piercing sensation in right arm. He looked down to see a dart stuck in his arm. He pulled it out and threw it outside, when he started to feel - or rather not feel - how the gun slipped from his grasp. Connor luckily caught it with his android reflexes, while Gavin's arm went completely slack. It made him nervous; it was his shooting hand.

His right leg was shaking with the effort it took to keep standing on it, but it hasn't lost all feeling to it.  
Connor and Hank gave him an expression that either demanded him to wait in the car (but fuck that) or asked if he was feeling alright. He gave a brief nod and stepped in, mindful of any other traps that could be located here in the living room. What immediately caught his attention were the dark spots on the ceiling. A water leak that had made the material go moldy. It smelled disgusting in here; old blood and rotting corpse. Gavin was damn sure that the smell wasn't 15 years old.

He walked further inside, his leg tingling uncomfortably as if it had fallen asleep and it was hard to keep his steps as light as before. This paralysing drug was already getting on his nerves, but he'd die before letting it stop him from finding Nines!

Hank took the lead when seeing that his body was being affected by the drug, and ascended the stairs that led up to the first floor. The room down here was empty and whoever had built his house must have had an F in every architectural class; there were no rooms down here - just the stairs.

Gavin followed the man and they reached a hallway with four doors, and a boarded up window at the end. Two doors on each side.  
It was as if this house had been built with the purpose of torturing people; the thought sickened Gavin.  
Connor walked to one of the doors and tried to open it, but it was locked. The android closed his eyes for a moment, then walked back towards them, an anxious expression on his face.  
"There's children here. About seven," he whispered.  
"How do you know that?" Gavin inquired. His coworker looked at him deadpan - probably his own measure to keep a cool head: "It's the ones I hear crying. On this floor. I've called for backup, Lieutenant."

There was a sudden scream coming from upstairs, and Gavin rushed up the next set of stairs. The smell of blood was strong here, and Gavin held the collar of his shirt in front of his nose to not puke his guts out. The screaming continued, and it was not on this floor either. But there was a ladder at the end of the hallway that led up to the attic. This was all becoming more and more clichée.

Gavin wanted to rush towards the sound, but the sound of something heavy falling made him halt for a second, as well as Hank's grip on his arm.  
He was terrified. There was a kid up there with whatever fucker was responsible for all this! What if it was Nines? What if he was already dying? W-

The detective took in deep breaths and staggered over to the ladder. Another heavy sound of something falling, and the crying sounded more distant. Gavin hurried up, even if his legs were protesting all the way.

The attic was the worst room, he was sure. He gagged at the strong smell of blood that permeated the air, his clothes, his brain. He was never going to forget the smell again.  
There was a table set up in the middle of the space, all bloody, with the colours of red _and_ blue. Nines had been here. Oh god, he had been here. Was he already dead?  
"H-Hank," he whispered, unable to raise his voice louder if he wanted to.  
"Don't give up yet, let's go check out the roof," the man insisted and walked towards the next ladder that had been carelessly thrown to the floor. Gavin was scared. But anger was building the longer he looked at the tabletop in front of him. The blue blood was fresh. And a few of the torturing instruments standing on another table next to it were stained in the same colour.  
"Connor, my gun, please," he held out his hand, and after moments of hesitation, the android handed the weapon to him.

With his gun put back in its holster he climbed up the ladder with the use of just one arm once more. But it couldn't possibly deter him from his goal: Holding Nines safely in his arms again.

But that plan didn't seem like it could be carried out so easily. The man before them was..  
"Mr. Becker?!" Gavin asked disbelieving. That geezer was the man who had been responsible for the deaths of mutilation of children?! The caller from a while ago whose apartment had stunk of Red Ice. Fucking- he hadn't planned on killing Nines for his thirium, had he?

The man howled with laughter, holding Nines in front of him as a live shield. Fucker.  
"Yes, Jack," he said, holding a sharp scalpel to Nines' neck. The boy looked terrified, and he was bleeding from his chest where he must have been cut with the tool before the old man had heard them and decided to hide on the roof. Nines was only in his undergarments and he was obviously freezing. But the tremors from his body weren't only coming from the cold.  
" **Let him go!** " Gavin yelled, a desperate try, really. Of course the man wouldn't do as asked. He only nicked into the synthetic skin on Nines' neck, and a shot rang.   
Gavin whipped his head towards Hank who had fired the warning shot. It had done what he wanted; Becker held still for a moment.

Connor stepped next to him and demanded loudly, but calmly (with his red LED): "Let him go, Mr. King. There are others on their way to arrest you. There is no way out of this." The ever-so-great negotiator-bot.

Mr. King, as his real name was, shook his head. "Nah, don't think so, sonny. But you," he pointed at Gavin, "you're the 'dad', right? A fucking android kid, really? What are you? Desperate? Can't find a woman to make you a real one?"  
Gavin took a step towards him, and the man's eyes fell onto his leg that was still trembling from the effort of keeping it awake.   
Gavin was angry. "He **is** real, asshole! Most of the time he is more real than me."

Mr. King shook his head, laughing. "What a sad sight. C'mere, sonny," he ordered once having calmed down a little, waving Gavin over with the hand that had recently been gripping Nines' arm tightly.  
Gavin did, if unsurely. What was the guy's big idea behind calling him over?

He was limping, and Gavin was sure the man had seen that. Must be cocky now, thinking the detective wouldn't do all in his power to save Nines. He stood only four feet apart from him.  
"Yeah, just like that," he grinned awfully, ugly, like a monster.

Gavin hadn't been the monster in Nines' life. Not all the time. He had tried his best to care for him when he hadn't been ready at all. And seeing the horrifying grin from the old man made it clear: he could have turned out way worse with his own abusive dad. He could have become _him_.

The old man stood up, but Nines kept still, even if the scalpel now hung to the man's side and not his neck anymore.  
Gavin wanted to call for Richard. Tell him it was okay, and that it would all be okay.  
But as he opened his mouth to say something, he heard the man chuckle, and when Gavin looked back up to him, into the man's eyes, they were dead. Crazed and mad.

His limited reflexes only managed to pull Richard away from him as he lifted his hand. Gavin had pushed the boy towards Connor already, who was waiting further away with his jacket off to catch and clothe him, to make sure nothing happened to him, nor would he fall off the fucking roof after all this. The detective had tried to run as well, but his leg gave out at an inopportune time, and he was lifted back up again and pulled back by he collar of his shirt. He hadn't taken his jacket with him either (he had had different thoughts and worries while running to the precinct), and he had never felt so naked while clothed before; pressed against the body of a child mutilator and rapist.

Gavin hated the fact that the man was alive. He wanted him dead, so that there was no other prison he could ever escape from again, so that the only place he would stay at forever would be hell. Not that Gavin was a god-fearing man. No, too much had happened in his life that had him lose hope long ago. But he wished there was some sort of hell for people like Mr. King.

He held still when he felt the cold, sharp blade brush against the skin of his neck, despite the tremors of **anger** , of **hate** , ran through him at the mere thought of being so close to the fucking piece of shit.  
"Nah-ah, don't move, now," the man whispered. "I'm sure you would have looked so delicious as a kid."  
Gavin had to suppress a gag threatening to spill from his throat at these words and the tongue that licked at his ear. He was going to kill this man.  
"I swear I will send you to hell personally," he mumbled back and took a step back; the man complied, and also stepped back a little, not having expected the movement from the detective.

Hank saw how determined Gavin looked. He hadn't seen this look in some time on him. His eyes may not have focused on anything except the sky, but one could clearly read the intentions behind the pupils.  
This look showed that Reed was going to do mostly anything - or everything - possible to catch a criminal, he would give _anything_ to stop them.  
His eyes were devoid of emotion other than rage hidden behind a curtain of repose.

The lieutenant took a step towards them, wanted to stop Gavin from doing what he was planning to do, something he considered righteous. Self-righteousness. That's all that it was going to be if he were to try and throw the guy off the roof. The man was old - he could let the rest of his days pass in prison while getting handled by his cellmates for the raping and killing of many children.

But Hank still understood him. Hell, he wanted that bastard to suffer, too. But killing him wouldn't be the proper way to go about this.  
  
"Reed, I warn y- **Reed**!" Hank yelled as he saw Gavin push back with more force again, enough force to replace King's ground beneath his feet with air.  
The old man's eyes widened, one moment of clarity that Gavin had indeed not just stepped back involuntarily and due to the numbness of his leg. No, he had taken the stupid risk of falling off the roof with this bastard, only so that he could fulfil his own wish for justice.

Oh, Gavin.

Connor moved forward quickly, Nines not with him. Hank didn't know what he was doing. He just standing there, but he also was not. He couldn't do anything but observe. As if his brain was trying to figure out what was happening in the milliseconds of Gavin falling back with King, Connor reaching his arm out to hopefully catch the detective, and the kid holding onto his pant leg starting to cry.

Gavin didn't deserve Nines either as a boyfriend, nor as a kid to take care of. He had hurt him, had shown how horrible of a person he really was. How **egoistical**. But no more of that.

Now he would be free of his guilt. He had saved Nines from the claws of two monsters today.

Gavin smiled slightly to himself as he avoided his friends' gazes, eyes focused on the grey sky above them as his view just tipped more and more. Disorientation became all he knew for a few moments, before all just went darker than it had ever been before.

_"Oh, Gavin."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I noticed this year will be my final year in school.  
> That's why I am so stressed. No worries though. Even when I am out of school, I will continue providing you with good fanfictions to the best of my ability.  
> As mentioned in the last "chapter", it just will take some more time. I'm glad for the feedback I had received and it helped me take things a little more easy. So: thank you! :)
> 
> Writing is love, writing is life.  
> My 10-finger typing is A-grade right now though. Wack. And with that I mean it is horrible, because I made myself some fake-ass, long-ass nails. And they hinder my typing game.


	9. This reality doesn't look very 1080p to me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin had fallen off a roof in the last chapter. Oh no, what is he going to possibly do now?
> 
> Suffer, of course.

Gavin had been aware of falling, he had been aware of the effect that gravity had had on him. As it always had. There were no miracles such as suddenly being able to fly, while the person you may or may not have been trying to kill (of course not, because that would be illegal) was denied such a wonder themselves.

But that was fine. Gavin was okay with that, because King was dead, Nines was back in his own body, and the two of them were home at his apartment.

Better yet: Gavin had been given time off by Fowler for catching the bastard and stopping him, as well as to heal.  
Sure, Gavin felt okay, but his left leg and arm were broken thanks to the fall off the roof, and he still felt woozy at times and had to sit down in order to not straight-up pass out.

All the better was Nines caring for him. His boyfriend, he was back in his body now after all, had turned full mother-hen, and wouldn't leave him alone.  
Constantly was he asked if he needed anything else. If he needed something to drink or eat. And no matter what Gavin asked for, even ungodly amounts of coffee, he was granted it.  
Oddly enough, no matter how much coffee he drank, he never felt any more awake. At least he didn't feel any more tired either. He was in a constant state of... exhaustion. But a weird exhaustion that did not come from a lack of sleep, but more so from something that ate at a person's mental strength.

The days feeling incredibly long in his apartment with Nines didn't help things much. Like, how could a day go so slow?  
Maybe because the blinds were always drawn? Gavin constantly had a headache, and shutting out all the sunlight was like a blessing to his sensitive eyes.  
But this could be the reason why day and night barely existed anymore for him.

"Nines, do you really have to go back to work tomorrow?" Gavin asked one evening. Was it evening? What number of evening was it, exactly?  
Gavin slept when he could, and no matter how long he closed his eyes for, he couldn't really.. _fall asleep_. Like, he wasn't awake either, but there were no dreams, no weird time skips or feelings of impending doom whenever his alarm sounded to get him out of bed. As if Gavin was always awake anyways.

"Yes, Gavin. I have wasted enough time being a little child, and need to keep up both our work now that you're forced to stay home," his partner answered.  
He hated how cold Nines sounded. So disinterested. So unlike himself. Had he hurt Nines so much while he had been trapped in a kid-model, that he hated him?  
Gavin shouldn't be surprised though, or hurt at all. He had already counted on that outcome after hitting Nines that one faithful night that led to all the chaos and misfortune following.

As if the android had actually managed to read his thoughts - could they do that now? - he huffed and stood up off the couch where Gavin was hanging around all the time; as if his presence was somehow to the man's distaste.  
He never really used the bedroom anymore. Only to go to the bathroom.

"I'll take my leave now. Fowler is waiting for me to hand in a few reports in by morning," Nines said and walked to the door.

Gavin didn't want the other to leave though. Nines couldn't leave him here. Alone. Nines couldn't leave him alone like.. like Gavin had left Nines all alone.  
So the injured man just looked back to the TV and replied: "See you later, babe."

The sound of a door closing was all Gavin needed to fully avert his attention to the screen of the TV again. And still he couldn't. In all the time he had spent here in front of the alit screen, he had never really watched any of the channels. He just sat here and existed.

And thus apparently evening arrived. Gavin had thought so anyways.  
Because he had not noticed Nines coming back into the apartment, and he had expected that the first thing his partner would do was greet him.  
But Gavin must have stayed here all night, and the morning, because when he finally felt the pressure of a hand on his shoulder and heard the voice of Nines speaking to him through the daze he felt himself to be in, he said: "I have to go back to work, Gavin. Eat something. You're losing too much weight."

"Why can't you stay?" Help me eat. Gavin didn't care how infantilising that would be. As long as Nines would stay here, he would do everything in the world!

**Except being nice to him, of course!**

"You know I cannot do that Gavin. I have to leave, or Fowler will be angry. You stay and get the rest you need."

With that the warmless hand disappeared off of his shoulder, and Gavin was alone once more after hearing his front door opening and closing again. He still wasn't able to look whenever Nines left. He couldn't bring himself to limp towards the window and push aside the curtains there to get even the shortest of glances of his beloved partner.

He felt lost. Where were his friends? Why didn't anyone come over? Did they all hate him?  
The TV showed a replay of an episode on a guy laying in a hospital bed, and their partner sitting next to them, holding their hand. How Gavin knew it was a replay he wasn't sure. He must have seen the episode before.

God, he was hungry. When was the last time he had eaten something? His throat was incredibly dry. Everything felt so uncomfortable.  
Gavin stood up from the couch, and he looked at the cushions he had recently occupied, curious if he had left any imprints behind. But none were there. Impressive.

Gavin, with the help of a crutch, managed to limp towards the kitchen to make himself something to eat. Lunch, dinner, breakfast? What did it matter? A good sandwich would suffice.

But before entering the kitchen, Gavin halted. The door, the front door, looked so ominous. Somehow.  
He had spent such a long time here, he was excited to the see outside of his flat again. Take a walk, maybe. Or drive to the precinct and get some paperwork done.

His hand was hovering over the handle, ready to push it down, when he heard Nines' unmistakeable voice behind him: "You should rest, Gavin. What would you do outside, except limp around like a hurt, stray dog?"

Gavin turned around, looking Nines up and down. His partner wore different clothes. Was he taking some sort of meds that caused him to lose track of time like this? It was weird.

"I know, I know. I just wanna go downstairs, check the mail," Gavin retorted and let his hand reach further towards the handle, already feeling the cold metal of it under his skin.  
A hand rested on his shoulder, and the voice from just seconds ago sounded a lot closer and sinister; "You should rest, Gavin. There is nothing waiting for you outside. All you need is here. With me."

Nines smiled at him when Gavin turned around.  
A cold shiver ran down his spine, and he wished to just push the cold hand off of his shoulder.  
"Whatever, Nines. Give me a break! I'm going to suffocate in here!"

With that Gavin did as he wished, pushed the hand off and pushed the handle of the door down and opening it.

"Here, I made you soup," Nines told him and handed him a steaming bowl of broth. Gavin wasn't feeling up to eating. He was starving, but he lacked the appetite. The strength to lift the spoon up to his mouth, and to swallow down the liquid.

Gavin felt weaker the longer he didn't go outside and actually did something. Gavin was trapped in here, and despite him knowing that he stayed. Here with Nines.

"I'm not hungry."  
"You should eat, Gavin."

Gavin wanted to be alone and watch TV.  
Nothing was shown on the screen. Nothing to capture his interest anyways. Another replay of some hospital scene.

"Nines, I just want to go outside. I'm going crazy in here," Gavin begged. But Nines didn't look too interested in what he had to say. He just replied that he had to leave for work now.  
"You should rest, Gavin. You need the rest after falling off that roof."

Gavin knew that, and he hated it. He didn't want to be stuck in here for much longer. He wanted Nines back. His partner who was nice to him. And did not just leave him in here to rot.

"Phck," he hissed, placing the bowl of soup back on the table. He couldn't eat, couldn't drink. He was starving, but lacking the energy to do something about it. It was a vicious cycle. Even sleeping felt like he was just resting with his eyes closed. And most of the times it even looked like he still had his eyes open.  
Just like now. Gavin was just laying on the sofa, eyes staring at the screen in front of him.

His eyes were still open, and he knew he was sleeping. But something was... off about today. Because for the first time in days, or however much time had passed, he saw the screen in front of him. He _saw_ , really saw, what was playing. It wasn't some show that would be playing on TV. And now Gavin could recognise it.

He could recognise the hand on the screen, his hand. It looked pale and boney, and it was resting in someone else's hands. Two small hands, that of a child's. Gavin felt his own hand, the one being held, warming up. A warmth that he had only known for a bit, but would remember every day anyway.

Gavin sat up, leaning on his right hand as it wasn't the one broken to pieces, and stared closer at the TV screen in front of him. He reached out towards the remote to turn up the volume. Because he _heard_ something. He heard his name, but so quietly it was just the faintest of whisper to his ears.

But just as he grabbed the remote, a bigger hand than his own wrapped around his wrist, and it felt **cold**. Gavin looked up into the icy, blue orbs. Nines looked angry. "You should rest, Gavin."

The TV screen was turned off, and Gavin felt something in his mind deafening. His ears rung, and sitting was too much of a task.

He was tired. He should rest.

* * *

Nines didn't want him to leave. That was something Gavin _knew_ was happening.

The curtains were kept closed and going even outside the apartment was met with Gavin mysteriously waking up on the couch as if he had never left it.  
Maybe it was the meds he was taking, making him sleepy and giving him the weirdest and realest of dreams.

Despite that, Gavin had tried to leave again and again whenever Nines wasn't around.  
He had tried to push the curtains aside, going to his bedroom, all tasks difficult with having to use the crutch due to his broken leg.  
But whenever he was about to open the door or push aside the cloths, Nines was there, and he helped him back to the couch, stating that he was surely tired and needed rest.

Nines was never wrong. Gavin always felt so tired, but sleep just wouldn't come.

One morning the TV was on again though. And it was Gavin's only entertainment after days - or was it weeks? - of sitting on the couch doing absolute shit.  
The screen again showed the view of someone laying in a hospital bed, Gavin saw this time that it was the exact scene of what he had seen before. But only today did the meaning of what he could see sink through to his brain.  
And the volume was up, too.

A larger hand held his own. A voice spoke, and Gavin registered that it was his name.  
"Gavin," the voice said. It was Nines. And it held the warmth that Gavin had gotten to know for such a long time.  
"Nines," Gavin called back, but it was stupid to believe that the other would actually hear him through the screen. He wasn't here. Why was the TV showing this shit anyway? Where was Nines?

Gavin got off the couch, his crutch held in a vice-like grip as he limped towards the screen. He looked around, feeling eerily threatened in his own home. What was he scared of? _Who_ was he scared of?

Gavin turned his gaze back towards the TV and there he stood: Nines. Taller than him, and giving him the coldest stare yet.

"You should rest, Gavin."  
He had said that over and _fucking over_ again!  
"No, I am _done_ resting, you asshole! And you're **not** Nines! Where is he, what the hell did you do to him?!" Gavin glared back. This wasn't Nines! How could he have been so fucking blinded?!

"You shouldn't watch so much television, Gavin. It appears to have a negative effect on you," the imitation said, and already went to grab the remote off the coffee table. But Gavin was quicker, and stumbled over, snatching it before the RK900 could even think lay his cold fingers on it.

" **Phck you! Leave me alone!** " he yelled and held the remote away from him as he went to grab at it. "You're not Nines, so piss off, tin can!"

The RK900 looked annoyed, but ultimately walked off towards the exit.  
"Do what you like, Gavin. I'll go to work now. You can decide what you want to do for all I care. But tell me: Do you even want to leave?"  
With that the android was out the door, and Gavin was alone again.

What the hell did he mean with that?! Fuckin'...  
Gavin threw his crutch away, angered by his own confusion. He didn't know what the hell was going on!

And thanks to his luck, he hit the damn television.

Gavin cursed under his breath and tried to catch the damn thing as he saw it toppling over towards him.  
One hand had caught the edge of the TV, the other was about to touch the glass open-palmed, when...

Gavin's eyes went wide as he saw that his arm was _inside_ the screen. Not going through and out the back, but... just _inside_.  
The warmth he had felt before was there again, stronger. Gavin was so surprised about this revelation, was so excited to feel the warmth of which he knew who it belonged to, that he didn't realise that he was currently standing on his left leg, and holding the appliance up with his left arm.

But somehow he did.

Gavin knew he couldn't get out any other way. Whatever was happening, he didn't understand fully, but he knew enough that he could get out _now_. Through the screen.

"Nines," he called, hearing his own name closer and louder than before. "I'm here!" he yelled, before reaching his heavy left arm to squeeze whatever he felt holding him; Nines' hand. Warm and comforting.

Gavin stepped into the screen, hoping to feel the warmth completely engulf him.

* * *

Brightness met him. Was he in heaven? Had he been dead after all?

No, he heard beeping. Machines. It smelled of shit and blood, and disinfectant. A hospital.

".. _Nines_ ," his voice sounded off. Scratchy and unused. But he heard it. He could _feel_ his vocal chords moving in his throat, could _savour_ how there was a low rumble in his chest. Something he hadn't felt in a long time.

The warmth from his hand disappeared, and Gavin could finally bring himself to blink open his eyes. He was finally getting used to the light in the room. The hospital room he had been watching for so long, but never been able to recognise in his mind.

"Gavin," another voice. A voice he knew. A voice he loved. "You're awake!"  
A face appeared in his vision, there on his left side, Nines' lovely face appeared, not looking so cold and detached as it had been looking before. But "before" hadn't been Nines.  
"'f course I'm," he mumbled, smiling up at his partner.

"God, I was so worried," he was wrapped in a tight embrace, and Gavin hugged back once his head stopped spinning. "I thought you wouldn't wake up again!"   
Nines sounded sad.  
"What do you mean?"  
He was let go again, even if he wanted to keep hugging his boyfriend.

Why were his words slurred? Why was it so difficult to do anything?

"Never mind. Just take your time getting your bearings again. I'm sure you're pretty confused right now."  
That would be an understatement. Gavin had no idea what was going on. Was he awake? He hadn't slept at all. Was he still in his apartment. But it smelled of hospital.

"Help me sit up," he demanded, fearing that if he kept laying like this, he would go back to that awful place again.  
Strong arms aided him to sit up, before he was set back a little to lean back against the pillow and headboard.  
The world was getting clearer now, and Gavin felt more like an actual human being again. A functioning one at least.

"I will notify the nurses of your awakening," Nines told him. God, had he missed the warm expression on his face. The love they held. "Wait!"  
Gavin frowned. Because why did Nines look so sad? No, it wasn't sadness that caused the tears to build in the corners of his eyes.   
"What happened? I feel like I got run over by a truck."  
Nines sighed, still smiling softly. "You really can't sit still, can you?"  
"Well, I am sitting still-"  
"You know what I mean, baby."

Gavin rolled his eyes. "Don't 'baby' me. Tell me what happened already! Why the hell am I here? And.. and how are you back in your body again?!"  
Nines let his thumb rub over his knuckles. Gavin didn't want to let go of his hand ever again. So he held it tighter.

"Do you really not remember?" Nines' expression changed from relieved to worried. So Gavin thought about it, because surely he had to know at least to some degree what had happened to him.  
"I.. You were kidnapped, and I... And..," Gavin rubbed his forehead wit his free hand, "something about me falling off a rooftop. I don't remember why exactly though. I just.. know that much."  
"Gavin, you were in a coma. For three months."  
Gavin didn't believe him. "So much beauty sleep, and I still feel like a wet rat."  
"You nearly died when they brought you in here. You hit your head really hard on the ground, but Mr. King at least served as some sort of protection, so you got away better than him."  
"If I was in a coma, then how do I have it better than him?" Gavin raised a brow. Was he still dreaming? Because that couldn't possibly be Nines' usual logi- "He's dead, Gavin."

Oh. Yeah... Mr. King.. child abduction.. Gavin had thrown himself off the house and taken that bastard with him!  
"Fucker deserved it," was all he commented about it.

Gavin looked up at Nines, seeing the man's expression, so he quickly back-pedalled: "Of course that is sooo bad, and all! I know, I know. Didn't mean it, sorry, God, for sending you a package early. Guy had it coming though. Did you see how old he was?!"

Nines stared at him in disbelief, before a chuckle escaped him. "You never change, do you, Gavin?"  
"As long as you still like me, I don't see a problem here."  
"No, of course there isn't."

Nines leaned down to kiss him, but Gavin leaned away, putting his hand against the android's lips to prevent him from the public display of affection (even if a room in a hospital wasn't _that_ public).  
"Wait, and how are you back.. in your body?"  
"Well, I told you three months passed, babe. Your bother had repaired my body about two months ago."

"My.. brother?" Gavin looked at Nines' face closer, trying to find the hint of playfulness on it. But apparently his boyfriend was not joking. And soft smile on his face disappeared.

"What about Connor? Hank? Do you recognise these names?"  
"I mean, yeah, sure. People have names, Nines," Gavin chuckled, but he wasn't feeling like laughing at all.  
"Do you recognise this person?" Nines lifted his arm and showed a picture of a woman with the hologram on the surface of his hand. Black hair, pulled back in a bun. She was smiling. "No, do I.. do I know her?"

The door to the hospital room opened, and in came a man with a weird haircut. Like... really weird. But the woman next to him looked normal enough with her blond hair in a ponytail.  
"Gavin... you're awake!" the man exclaimed excitedly, and rushed over to hug him.

Gavin must have looked confused, confused enough to make the man rushing over to him stop dead in his track.  
"Is that Connor you told me about?" he asked Nines, not taking his eyes off of the stranger in front of him.

"No, it isn't, Gavin."

He felt as if he was in the wrong movie.

Gavin felt cold.

So incredibly cold.


End file.
